"It sounds like you really wish to reincarnate with those children."
"You understand correctly."
Without hesitation, he affirmed, prompting the deity to fall silent. The eyes within the robe closed. Sihyun waited quietly for the deity's response. Having witnessed many reincarnations and deaths, the deity, with a weary soul worn thin from such sights, soon sighed with a look of regret.
"If you want your wish to come true, you must bind their souls together. The trajectory of the souls you speak of cannot naturally align with yours. I must forcefully detain them until you reincarnate, to be born into the same world as you. It’s not an easy task. Do you still desire it?"
Sihyun nodded.
"It's an act against fate."
"I will pay the price."
"Your soul will weaken considerably. As you know, your soul is not whole. It was originally two, now merged into one. If mishandled, it might even separate."
"I am willing to bear that as the price."
The deity was concerned, but Sihyun did not back down. What could be more important than seeing those children again?
If it were not for those children, he wouldn’t have endured being Gren, Harnen, or Subject No. 1. He might have succumbed to suicide or crumbled completely. They were the only fortune in his life of despair—a chance to grasp what he had carelessly lost, an opportunity to give back as much as he had received. Why hesitate?
Sihyun's resolve was firm. Even if reincarnation led to eternal dissolution, he would not retreat. The deity, sensing Sihyun's heart, grimaced with a bitter smile.
"Seems you’re determined to pay whatever the price... that's your decision then."
His voice sounded almost to himself, and Sihyun neither denied nor affirmed, merely waiting for permission.
Silently, the deity extended a hand and opened his palm.
Swoosh.
A vast energy seemed to drain from the body. It was the divine power that had always merged into the soul of Adam, the deity's strength itself. Feeling the power ebb away, Sihyun, soul and all, clutched at his chest area, staggering despite lacking a physical body, as if his entire being throbbed with pain.
This internal injury was to his soul.
"This is your divine power."
The deity gathered the energy he had taken from Sihyun and shaped it into a round mass, which he then split in half on his large palm, big enough to hold Sihyun's entire form. After splitting the massive sphere, the deity's eyes cradled Sihyun. Staring into that vast and deep gaze, Sihyun smiled at the halved sphere.
"Just as I wished."
"The weakening of your soul is inevitable since it is sustained by this divine power. But if you're alright with that, if it's truly your wish, I will gladly help. However,"
The deity paused, then sent the gathered divine power back to Sihyun and touched his cheek with a finger, as if caressing it.
"I hope you won't regret it. Can you truly bear the price? You won’t remember these children. Nor will they remember you. Even if you are reborn with no memories, can you live without regret, no matter the circumstances?"
It felt like a concerned pressurization. Faced with a future borne from his choice, regardless of the outcome, Sihyun nodded. Then, something troubled him, and he looked at the deity. The deity's eyes were filled with concern—a father, his creator.
"If you grant my request, what will become of you, Father?"
"It's an act against fate. Originally, there was a life they were meant to live, but I blocked that while initiating reincarnation. It’s not something that can be fully achieved by my bearing the cost alone," he asked, and the deity smiled.
"Don't worry about me, my son. This is my atonement for you."
The deity slowly bowed his head. The presence, crouching as if squatting down, touched his forehead to Sihyun's.
"I hoped you would understand despair through repeated reincarnations. Despair is truly understood only by those who experience it directly. I wanted you, the savior, to grow by experiencing much despair and then save those who are drowning. I thought that was true salvation when I reincarnated you into lives of unhappiness. I was foolish and ignorant back then."
The deity's confession continued. Sihyun realized he was explaining the reason why Adam's life had been so despairing.
"If you hadn't met a boy named Day, you might have completely collapsed."
"Wait, wasn't Gren your first life?"
Surprised by the mismatch between what he was thinking and the information, he asked, and the deity nodded.
"Gren was not your first life, Adam. You have lived hundreds of lives already."
"But
I have no memory of that."
"People do not remember everything. If it's not memorable, or they wish not to remember, it’s cleanly excised. It seems you have chosen to forget your past lives. …That was also my mistake. My error, my misjudgment, led me to plunge you into countless despairs, so I promise to grant you everything you wish as a means of atonement."
The deity took Sihyun's hand and looked him in the eye. Sihyun stared into those deep eyes, listening to the deity's promise.
"I will pray for your happiness. Until the time comes, in your next life, you will lose the memories of Adam and live a happy life as neither the executed nor the savior, just an ordinary human. I will make it so. So, Adam,"
The solemn voice resonated through the realm of spirits. The deity stood up, and for a moment, their eye levels were nearly equal before the deity rose to an immense height again. The deity looked down at Sihyun with a slight smile.
"Live a little happier in your next life."
With that, the deity waved his hand. A black curtain flew towards Sihyun, covering his vision and enveloping his body. Despite the suddenness of the event, Sihyun was neither startled nor defensive. The curtain made by the deity felt genuinely kind.
"I'm sorry." The deity apologized quietly. Sihyun mulled over the words of his creator and closed his mouth.
To save others, one must understand many despairs, having experienced them all firsthand.
It seemed cruel, the reason for the persistent misery that had bound his soul. While troubled, Sihyun also felt compelled to sympathize with the deity.
There is no one to teach the deity. He must discover everything on his own and learn alone. No one could point out his mistakes or assist him at his side. As much as he had suffered from misery, so too had he suffered from the terrible loneliness of bearing the mission to watch over the world.
Thus, he had to understand.
And he did not have the creative power to create another being like himself anymore, nor did he have enough divine power to give to a new being as he had given to him.
There were no more divine beings to be born, so the only one who could understand the deity was ultimately himself.
He was the first and the last.
How could he not be obsessed?
Sihyun decided to understand him.
And at the same time, he dared to forgive him.
It was a kind of commiseration. After all, he was the only one who could understand.
And so, the two divine beings embraced each other warmly, and Sihyun closed his eyes with the words not to blame himself too much.
"See you next time then."
The deity said goodbye.
Brilliant divine power enveloped Sihyun as the deity poured out blessings for Sihyun's next life, causing his consciousness to momentarily pause.
"Be happy, Adam."
The deity slowly felt Sihyun's soul fade as he prepared for reincarnation, closing his eyes. This time, may you truly be happy.
And hopefully, be loved by many. After all, you are bound to love those children.
A prayer filled with longing echoed through the realm of spirits. However, the deity's attempt failed.
Or rather, to put it accurately, because he had acted against fate, what should have proceeded correctly had gone awry.
Adam's soul, which had used divine power for the children's reincarnation, entered an unstable state as the deity had forewarned. Losing half of the divine power had destabilized the union of the soul, and to make matters worse, an error occurred in the reincarnation and fate system due to the massive amount of 'happiness' inputted to erase the 'unhappy' fate the deity had assigned, causing the two fates to collide.
Should he be born happy, or should he be born unhappy?
The collision in this confusion further destabilized Sihyun's already unstable soul, and as a result, Sihyun ultimately split into two.
Adam and Eve.
Into those two souls.
Just as Sihyun had hoped before reincarnating.
Thus, Eve entered the life of reincarnation Sihyun had hoped for, born as 'Kang Sihyun',
While Adam fell into another world, becoming 'Yoo Sihyun'.
Who was born with a happy fate, and
Who was born with an unhappy fate, was obvious.
The world that Sihyun and the deity had originally wanted to reincarnate Sihyun into was Eve's world.
The full story was revealed.
"......"
Having learned everything, Sihyun slowly opened his eyes.
Whether he had been closing his eyes for a long time, or it was just too heavy to open properly, his eyelids slowly lifted, paving the way to the world. Sihyun felt complete sensation for the first time in a long
while.
Because it was reality.
He had come back.
Waking up and staring at the white ceiling, Sihyun checked his fingers and then saw the pairing device and was certain.
Finally, he had returned. Not as Adam, nor Gren, nor Harnen, but as Sihyun.
Yes.
"Sihyun...."
Not Yoo Sihyun, not Kang Sihyun, just Sihyun.
That was the name for this life.
Thank you for reading this far! You can access more chapters from HERE by joining my Patreon community. You'll gain exclusive early access to the COMPLETE NOVEL.
As a member of my Patreon community, here is what you'll get:
For $5
- Early access to 100s of chapters before they go public.
- You also get access to all the novels I'm translating, you can find them here HERE.
- You Get Ad-free Chapters.
For $10
- You get to suggest a Novel for me to translate.
For $20
- You get to recommend a Novel and I will immediately start translating it.
Plus, you can Cancel your membership at any time.
Don't let this amazing opportunity slip through your fingers!
