He didn't grasp the intention behind his words at first, merely sitting there blankly before belatedly recalling the text message Daun had sent him. He remembered the message that warned him to kick someone in a sensitive spot if they bothered him and laughed hollowly at how he had responded.
He never really intended to kick that hard.
Especially not in such a delicate area. After all, he had never been one to cross lines without permission, so the worry seemed unfounded as he laughed, prompting Seowoo to blink in confusion. "Why are you laughing?" he muttered, drawing Kang Sihyun's gaze downward.
"It was you who made me laugh."
"Me?"
"Yes."
"That's odd. Normally, I would have pushed you away by now..."
The boy trailed off, twisting his head awkwardly. It was then that Sihyun realized his hand was still being held by him. He attempted to pull away, but Seowoo moved quicker, trapping the wriggling fingers within his gentle palm.
"Have you started to like me now?"
He asked, his voice laced with amusement. Despite the light and playful tone, a hint of expectation shone through their eye contact. Sihyun twitched his mouth, contemplating.
Would he be disappointed if I said no?
Or would he, as always, brush it off as nothing significant?
He had pushed Seowoo away numerous times before, especially before Seowoo experienced that unfortunate accident. It was as if pushing away was all he had done. That should have been tiring for anyone, yet there Seowoo was, speaking to him as if nothing had changed, making Sihyun narrow his eyes in confusion. Why he still showed affection, Sihyun couldn't fathom.
"Why do you like me?"
His tone was flat, making the question sound more like a statement than an inquiry. Seowoo hummed softly in response.
"What do you wish I'd say?"
"I didn't ask expecting a particular answer."
"Then?"
"Just curious."
From the beginning, Seowoo had always been kind to him. While maintaining a certain distance from others, indicating they shouldn't cross it, he behaved differently with Sihyun. He often laughed mischievously, spoke softly, and repeated small, fluttering touches.
That puzzled him.
"I don't understand why you showed interest in me, why you came to like me."
While Hamin had confessed properly and Sihyun had responded clearly at that time, Seowoo hadn't.
"Honestly, I get Hamin. It wasn't love at first sight for him, and we went through a lot together. It makes sense for feelings to develop in that process."
But what about you?
Under the gradually darkening sky, his blue eyes twinkled. Seowoo walked towards the railing, turning his body to face Sihyun fully.
"You were kind to me from the start."
"That's true."
"Why?"
"It feels like an interrogation."
"I'm not joking."
"Neither am I. It's just this atmosphere I'm not fond of."
"Why?"
"It's too cold, Sihyun. We're having a rather shy conversation here."
As if embarrassed, Seowoo covered his cheek with a hand, feigning coyness. Sihyun stared coldly at him, sighing softly.
"Can't you speak more gently?"
"I wonder if that alone would suffice."
"..."
Should I just give up?
Regretting even starting this conversation, considering having a serious dialogue to understand Seowoo seemed foolish now. Sihyun massaged his forehead, tempted to give up on talking at all, but the history between them made him hold back.
"What else can I do?"
"Technically, since I'm confessing..."
"...?"
"Should we kiss while we talk?"
Seowoo swiftly approached, leaning on the armrest with both hands, whispering. The voice tickled his ears, making his hairs stand. Breathing in, he caught a scent akin to soap.
The absurdity of the statement hit him only afterward, and he glared at Seowoo with narrowed eyes. His annoyance spilled over as a ticklish laughter filled with mischief drifted on the sea breeze.
"It was a joke. Too many people around now."
"That's the problem?"
"Why? Were you hoping for it?"
Sihyun shook his head in disbelief, furrowing his brows.
"Fine. If you won't answer my question, let's just drop it."
"Are you angry?"
When it was time to provoke anger, Seowoo was adept, but now he was playfully wagging his tail again. Sihyun swatted away Seowoo's hand as it came to caress his cheek, clicking his tongue in disapproval.
"Wouldn't you be angry? I'm going to Hamin."
It seemed more productive to see Haru and Hamin than to continue this fruitless conversation with Seowoo. As he attempted to leave, believing their arm-wrestling contest must have ended by now, Seowoo held him back. He had tried to dismiss Seowoo, thinking it was too late since the bus had already passed.
"I'll answer, so don't go."
The voice that reached him from behind was unexpectedly low, almost startlingly so, causing Sihyun to turn around. The eyes that met his were tinged with a gloomy light, unfamiliar to him.
Those eyes were new to him.
"We were in the middle of a conversation, Sihyun."
The grip on his arm tightened, slightly painful, as if it might leave a mark.
Rather than complaining about the pain, Sihyun was curious why Seowoo was acting this way. Suddenly, a firm hand pulled him down, seating him with more force than usual.
"Why are you doing this all of a sudden?"
"..."
"Seowoo."
Not receiving an answer, he called out Seowoo's name, almost reproachfully. Seowoo approached, casting a shadow over him. The boy crouched down in front of him after hesitating, resting his chin on his knee.
"Why are you...?"
"..."
"Why do you treat me harshly when you know I like you?"
Seowoo's murmured question was barely audible, pulling Sihyun's hand closer to his face. Soon, the cool touch of a forehead met his palm. Sihyun had known Seowoo to have a naturally low body temperature, yet he flinched at the unexpected cold.
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. Why do you keep going to others, even though you're with me?"
"..."
"I'm sure I liked you first, so why haven't we spent proper time together..."
What initially sounded like a whine gradually turned into a mumble, eventually resembling a monologue. Sihyun lowered his gaze to see Seowoo, kneeling and crouched in front of him, looking pitiable.
This made him unable to pull his hand away, letting it rest quietly. The forehead touching his palm warmed up, emitting a faint heat.
Faced with a question too complex to answer, Sihyun remained silent, letting the silence stretch on. Feeling like he should perhaps offer some comfort, he hesitated before moving his hand. Touching Seowoo's hair awkwardly, the boy responded by speaking up.
"If the world wasn't like this, I would have been more honest with you."
Sihyun listened quietly to Seowoo, who had begun speaking after a long pause.
"I know you hate it when things are overly significant, so I wouldn't have acted this way. But after the world turned out like this, romance isn't even on your radar. You're too busy saving people to care about what I'd say."
"That's..."
"It's not that you did anything wrong. It's just bad timing. But then..."
"..."
"When exactly should I say it, Sihyun? Last year, you seemed too anxious, and with all you were dealing with, I doubted you'd take a confession seriously. As the year changed, you started focusing on other things."
Seowoo stopped speaking and turned his head, his platinum hair rustling. Their eyes met, and Sihyun didn't avoid his gaze.
"It's strange. You were always my priority, so why does it seem like I keep getting pushed down your list?"
His voice was low and calm, but not warm. Once he started speaking, the words flowed without hesitation, revealing long-held thoughts.
"I don't understand why you think I wouldn't be anxious. Do I seem too relaxed to you? I'm burning up inside, and you're the only one who doesn't see it. I want to touch you, want you to touch me, and I get jealous when you're with someone else."
Haru and Hamin know, so why don't you, Sihyun?
It sounded like a complaint. When Seowoo lowered his head again, Sihyun, stiff with emotion, touched his hair. It had become a habit to stroke Haru when he was upset, and his hand moved on its own.
Swallowing hard, he turned his head, meeting Hamin's gaze from afar. He wasn't doing anything wrong, yet he felt startled, and as the boy looked back and forth between them, he eventually turned away.
He had expected a dramatic reaction, but the calm response was unexpected.
It felt as if this moment had been anticipated, as if making way for something else.
Seeing Hamin made Sihyun even more troubled.
He had intended to find out why Seowoo liked him, not to hear such confessions. Unprepared for the emotional weight, he found himself messing with Seowoo's hair as his hand was suddenly grabbed. Looking down, Seowoo raised his head from his knee.
"I like you."
"..."
"If my not saying it properly was the issue, I'm willing to say it now, so please, look at me."
The voice that flowed out lacked the usual chill and venom, leaving Sihyun's lips dry. An inexplicable tightness gripped his chest as another soft sigh reached his ears. It felt as though the boat swayed lightly with the rush of waves.
"I don't understand why you say you understand Hamin but not me. Doesn't it seem strange to you, Sihyun?"
"..."
"Do I really need a reason to like you? Is love supposed to be something grand, requiring a significant story or a pivotal moment to justify it? If that were the case, why do people speak of love at first sight or destiny?"
"..."
"Just one day, you became dear to me, and simply catching your eye makes me happy..."
Do you need a reason?
That question was pure, devoid of any ulterior motive or an attempt to probe Sihyun's inner thoughts. Instead, it was a genuine expression of Seowoo's bewilderment.
With a look of sincere incomprehension, Seowoo leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the palm he was holding. The tender contact caused Sihyun's fingertips to tingle. Noticing the slight tremble in the hand he held, Seowoo looked up with deep-set eyes and spoke.
"I like you."
"..."
"I don't expect an answer. Just know that I care for you."
I wish you'd understand that a bit more clearly, properly.
The confession burst forth, small yet profound, amidst the backdrop of the sea.
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