Startled, I thought I was going to collapse.
I drifted off to sleep feeling content, only to wake up with a dry throat, blinking my eyes in the darkened kitchen, startled by the presence of a boy standing still. Sihyun, barely suppressing his surprise, looked at Seowoo. The boy who had been leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, sensing the presence, lifted his head.
His platinum-colored eyes, faintly shining in the darkness, had a subtle eeriness.
Has he been standing like this since then?
Even when I stepped onto the veranda a few hours ago, I was worried. Would this guy, who seemed like a screw loose, still be standing outside in just a sweatshirt, not even sleeping? But seeing him actually exhibit similar behavior, my heart pounded.
Calming his throbbing heart and maintaining a composed expression as he regulated his breathing, Sihyun glanced at Seowoo. Maintaining silence as Sihyun refrained from saying anything, pretending not to see him, Sihyun opened the refrigerator door and took out some water.
As he was about to put the cup down, pouring the transparent liquid, Seowoo spoke.
"It seems like you're right."
Drip. The liquid being neatly poured into the cup echoed in the quiet room. Sihyun, who had momentarily flinched, set down the water bottle.
As an implicit understanding seemed to form to ignore each other, suddenly hearing a voice caught Sihyun off guard.
"Hello," came a small greeting. Judging by the tone, it seemed like he had already recovered.
A monstrous kid.
If he were 17, it would have been better if he acted a bit more reserved. At least I thought he would be in shock for at least a week, but less than half a day was too much.
Turning his head slowly, Sihyun caught sight of Seowoo's smiling face. The boy with slightly curved eyes had a calm demeanor.
There was no confusion or surprise. In a short time, he seemed to understand and accept every situation. Sihyun felt a resurgence of annoyance at his calmness.
It was crazy behavior, but since he seemed normal, it was unsettling.
"I didn't know until now, but it seems like I quite enjoy being in control," Seowoo said calmly.
"...."
"I dislike unexpected things happening and plans being disrupted. After you left, I kept thinking about it, and you were absolutely right, Sihyun."
His voice was so low and calm that it felt eerie. Sihyun glanced at Seowoo's pupils piercing through the dawn's silence.
People's eyes often revealed their emotions and states. Right now, Seowoo's eyes didn't show any sign of abrupt madness.
It was eerie.
That fact made Sihyun even more uneasy.
His actions were insane, but he seemed normal, which made it more unsettling.
"I didn't realize it myself, but how did you know?" Sihyun asked.
"...Because I'm an outsider, I can see some things more clearly."
"Do you think so?"
"Then?"
"I have a slightly different opinion."
Quietly continuing his words, Seowoo took another step closer. The distance shortened. Sihyun tightly held the cup he had put down.
Seowoo's eyes slowly rolled, catching sight of the filled cup in front of him. Then, while staring at it, he spoke.
"I thought I knew quite a bit about myself. What I want, what I live for, what's boring. And..."
What's good.
There was a bit more strength in the last sentence. With a hushed tone, he reached out and held Sihyun's hand, wrapping his fingers around the cup. The moisture that had gathered on the cup slightly wetted both of their hands. Sihyun flinched.
"What do you mean?" Sihyun asked.
"It's amazing how you discovered something about me that I didn't even know. You seem to have been more interested in me than I thought."
It was a valid point, but it sounded odd for some reason. He observed him because he was interested, but the interest Seowoo mentioned felt somewhat different from what Sihyun had in mind.
And, as if on cue, Seowoo, who had come a little closer, leaned in between the wall and himself, enclosing Sihyun, and murmured in a low voice.
"Yeah, Sihyun."
"...What else?"
"Do you have an interest in me?"
"What?"
The voice that had been whispering softly suddenly rose a tone higher. Even though it would have perfectly represented my feelings, Sihyun still smiled at Seowoo. His smiling lips revealed a sense of joy, and there was a subtle satisfaction in his rolling eyes. When unease enveloped Sihyun, the boy, with a willing face, spat out his response.
"That's right."
"...What?"
"I like you."
"...."
With his characteristic languid and warm tone, the confession reached Sihyun's ears. He felt his mind growing distant. It felt like someone had thrown him a large lump of molasses when he asked for a bit of syrup.
As he stood there, dumbfounded, the boy, awakened by his own startle, gently smoothed out Sihyun's tousled hair.
His touch was as affectionate as ever.
"To be honest, I didn't plan on saying anything before it was time. I was certain you wouldn't take it well. You've only just started seeing us as friends, and I thought if I confessed now, you might run away."
It was an accurate analysis.
Sihyun was so taken aback that he couldn't deny or refute a single word. As he struggled with his thoughts, Suhwoo, teasingly playing with his black hair, leaned closer to Sihyun's ear.
"And I didn't think it was the right time yet. I wanted to wait a bit longer. But you asked first, Sihyun."
"..."
"Since you asked, I had to give you a proper answer."
It was a cheeky remark. It sounded as if he hadn't intended to confess but did so because Sihyun asked. Sihyun, feeling bewildered, clenched his jaw. He hadn't even recovered from Najik's confession, and now he found himself facing another one.
Moreover, they were both boys.
He couldn't help but wonder if, unbeknownst to him, he had turned into some kind of demon homosexual.
Furrowing his brows, then relaxing them, Sihyun shook his head as if trying to deny the situation. He opened his mouth.
"So, you like me?"
"Yeah."
"This isn't some kind of misunderstanding?"
"I'm not that dumb."
"..."
"I don't sleep with people I don't like, Sihyun. Not even in the same bed without fitting."
It was almost as if he was recounting a time when they had kissed. Remembering the incident in the infirmary, Sihyun brought his hand up to his neck, his face flushing. It felt like their lips had touched then.
Pulling back slightly, feeling flustered, Suhwoo chuckled softly.
"You have a good memory. But I was talking about something else."
"What are you talking about?"
"If you're curious, why don't we try it?"
Leaning towards Sihyun, the boy asked casually. It felt as surprising as someone suggesting they eat a meal together. Flabbergasted, Sihyun retorted, but it only made Suhwoo laugh. He seemed to take joy in stealing laughter from Sihyun. Just a few hours ago, Suhwoo had regained his composure. Unlucky seemed twice as worse as usual for Sihyun.
"It'll be complicated for you to think about it. Take your time to ponder."
"..."
"Goodnight then."
Hyung.
It felt strange to hear such an honorific from him, but Sihyun was repulsed when Suhwoo added the chilling title. With a disdainful look, Sihyun watched as the boy, who had dropped a bombshell, walked lightly back into the room.
Now, Sihyun was left alone in the kitchen.
"Heh."
After a while, a hollow laughter burst out. Sihyun looked at the door with an incredulous expression, recalling the unbelievable situation just moments ago.
First Hamin, now Suhwoo.
He didn't think homosexuality was that common, yet he didn't know there were so many around him. And he didn't think they would like him.
Actually, aren't they all gay?
In the end, all of them liked me?
As Suhwoo's confession followed, it seemed reasonable to doubt. Sihyun muttered to himself, shaking off his futile thoughts. His head was spinning.
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