He couldn't find his voice. Unsure whether he should apologize, claim he wasn't crying, or simply turn away and ignore them, Sihyun bit his lip stubbornly. Opening his mouth felt like it would unleash a flood of tears.
He didn't want to cry messily, but tears streamed down his cheeks, tracing wet paths over his cheekbones. Emotions he had held back began to spill out drop by drop. Seeing Sihyun cry for the first time, the children stared in stunned silence.
"Ah... why is this happening..."
He knew these were issues of the past. Having struggled through those times, he thought he'd become numb to it, that it wouldn't affect him anymore. Yet, tears flowed freely, and his voice trembled as he spoke, leaving the children unable to find words to respond.
Empathy has its limits.
They hesitated to add their own interpretations, fearing they might misconstrue his feelings or add pressure.
Sensing their consideration in their gazes, Sihyun tried to stop his tears.
Despite wiping them away, tears continued to fall. Clenching his fists and holding his breath, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to suppress his emotions. But the crying wouldn't stop, as if his tear ducts were broken.
Unable to stand it, Hamin spoke up.
"Just cry, let it all out. We'll pretend we didn't see."
Giving Sihyun permission to cry freely, Hamin pushed a tissue box toward him. Sihyun grabbed a few tissues, intending to wipe his tears, but emotions overwhelmed him again, crumpling the tissues in his fist.
As Sihyun clenched his mouth shut again,
"I want to cry too!"
Claiming the mood was too gloomy, Haewoon hugged Sihyun. Surprised by the sudden embrace, Sihyun's eyes widened. Haewoon assured him he had cried enough and it was time to stop, warning that his eyes would swell by morning. Pulling back to show his face, Haewoon wore a mischievous smile. Seeing that smile, Sihyun blinked, and Hamin stood, pulling on Haewoon's clothes.
"Hey, are you not done?"
"Why! I'm comforting him!"
"As if that's any comfort!"
Their squabble broke the solemn atmosphere. Finally, as the commotion didn't subside, Geonu stood to calm them down, while Seowoo shook his head in disbelief. Daun smirked at the scene, and Jihye tried to support Geonu. Haru grabbed Sihyun's hand.
"Are you okay?"
He asked. Caught off guard, Sihyun stopped crying and nodded.
"I'm sorry."
Apologizing softly to Haru, the boy with crimson eyes looked at Sihyun intently before shaking his head.
"It's okay."
"..."
"It doesn't matter why; you were there. That's all that matters to me."
His tone was gentle. Haru reached out to wipe away Sihyun's tears, leaving a trail of moisture on his prominent knuckles. Sihyun watched him with an unfamiliar gaze before chuckling. The timid, shy boy from the beginning of the semester was nowhere to be seen.
"You've really grown."
"...Huh?"
Worry-free, to the point of not needing concern. Sihyun petted Haru's hair, having swallowed the rest of his thoughts. He took a deep breath. The air, which he hadn't fully appreciated due to tension, crying, and anxiety, reached his lungs and calmed him down.
As he regulated his breathing, it seemed the surroundings had quieted down a bit. Sure enough, when he looked around, the children were watching him. Their eyes seemed to ask if he had finished crying, and Sihyun offered a sheepish smile. Despite not having cried loudly, he felt embarrassed.
"...Sorry."
"For what now?"
"Just... because I'm grateful."
He didn't need to empathize with a problem they didn't have to care about. They didn't need to understand a story they didn't have to listen to or consider someone else's situation they didn't have to bother with. Yet, the children of Class A listened to his story as if it were their own and empathized with him. He softly expressed his gratitude, and Hamin scoffed, telling him to treat them better from now on. Haewoon picked up on his cue.
"Right! From now on, don't hide anything from us! You don't have any other major secrets you've been keeping, do you?"
Haewoon's playful tone triggered a memory for Sihyun, who sighed softly.
"You're not suggesting..."
Noticing Sihyun's reaction, Hamin frowned, followed by the others. Sihyun scratched his cheek, tilting his head before facing them squarely.
The things yet to be confirmed that needed to be hidden, like the existence of Kang Sih
yun, were set aside as the piercing gazes became somewhat uncomfortable.
"Well... um."
"Spit it out."
"Then... I'm being targeted by a foreign guild."
"What?"
All but Hamin, who already knew, were startled. Sihyun decided to spill everything at once, preventing them from reacting individually.
"It's likely related to the recent incident with the foreign guild. And I'm at risk of mana collision, which could be dangerous, but I think I can handle it, so don't worry too much. Also..."
As he revealed one secret after another, the children's eyes widened with each revelation. After sharing about Pia's dreams and his own nightmares, silence fell. The children, too exhausted to react, massaged their foreheads or sighed deeply.
"So, you were carrying all that by yourself?"
"...Looks like it?"
Daun's sharp question received a hesitant response from Sihyun. The tears that had gathered in his eyes had all but vanished.
"And you had no intention of telling us?"
"...Until now?"
"I really!"
"Daun!"
Suddenly, Daun stood up, her eyes fierce. Jihye quickly intervened, sensing the impending storm. The atmosphere grew tense. Jihye held Daun back, urging her to calm down.
"Daun! Let's give Sihyun a chance! He's changing!"
"But that's just..."
"Please, just this once! If you could just hold back!"
Jihye pleaded desperately. Grinding her teeth, Daun eventually sat back down with a heavy sigh. Sihyun, who had braced for impact, let out a short breath of relief as Hamin chuckled beside him.
"See? I told you it wasn't just me feeling betrayed."
Under normal circumstances, Sihyun would have scolded him, but today he felt too ashamed to say anything.
"How can one person go through so much?"
Haewoon wondered aloud, to which Sihyun could only shrug. It was a mystery to him as well.
After about ten minutes, the children began to recover from their daze. They concluded it was too late to be angry now and decided to accept the situation as it was.
"We suddenly know too much."
"Right! My head hurts, I can't think of anything."
Seowoo opened up about his discomfort, and Haewoon agreed. The others nodded in agreement. Sihyun, feeling like a criminal among them, silently moved behind Haru for protection.
"How could you think of bearing all that alone?"
Hamin's taunt was met with Sihyun's frank admission.
"That's why I'm telling you now."
"Is that supposed to be a boast?"
"...No."
At a loss for words, Sihyun avoided further confrontation. Glancing at the wall, he suddenly heard a scream from Haewoon, who jumped up and addressed the group.
"Since Sihyun's done crying and our heads are all cluttered, how about we go for a walk?"
"We don't even have an outing pass. What walk?"
"Just around the school! What do you think?"
His golden eyes sparkled invitingly. After exchanging looks, the children's gaze settled on Sihyun. Reluctantly, he agreed, seeing no reason to refuse.
"Then let's go for a walk!"
Energized, Haewoon pulled the seated children to their feet. Sihyun, pushed by Haewoon, stepped out of the training room.
A school walk, of all things.
It seemed ridiculous, but walking around the school's sports field and garden turned out to be a pleasant distraction. Sihyun's face, which had been tense all day, relaxed. The conversation flowed as they walked.
As they talked and cleared their heads, the children bombarded Sihyun with questions. From whether he could return to his original world to various queries about possession, Sihyun answered them until Jihye asked if he missed his family, making him pause.
He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss Yoo Sihyun, but dwelling on it only hurt, so he opted to bury those feelings, leading to a brief silence. Just as the mood threatened to turn somber again, Haewoon lightened it with his optimism.
"Let's not get gloomy. Who lives without a backstory? I mean, my parents got divorced, but so what? Let's share our troubles now; it'll be comforting later."
His light-hearted yet thoughtful suggestion surprised Sihyun, who looked at him with awe. Surprisingly, Seowoo joined in.
"Maybe we should."
"Really?"
There's no shame in sharing these things here. "I left home because my parents' expectations were too heavy. Now my aunt supports me."
Seowoo shared his situation with a smile. Remembering a visit to Seowoo's place, Sihyun realized he was living alone. As their eyes met, Seowoo softened his gaze
. Sihyun swallowed hard, feeling the weight of their shared vulnerabilities.
One by one, the children began to open up about their personal struggles.
- A boy who was hit by a car and ended up in another world.
- A boy raised in a laboratory since childhood.
- A boy who left home due to overwhelming parental expectations.
- A girl who once thought sports were so hard she wanted to die.
- And a boy who, forced to live as told, found his likes and dislikes blurred; a boy separated from his parents due to their divorce; a girl who grew up without affection, having to give it instead; and a boy who suffered neglect.
They casually shared stories that seemed impossible to discuss with laughter. As one spoke, another would join, and soon they were all sharing and laughing together, like dandelion seeds carried by the wind.
Sihyun watched them with a dazed expression. These were stories they shouldn't have been able to share so easily, yet here they were, freely talking about their lives at 17 or 18. It was an inexplicably peaceful atmosphere, and eventually, Sihyun joined in the laughter.
Feeling light and at ease for the first time in a while, he looked at the dormitory building they had reached. The walk around the school grounds and back seemed quick, yet it was the break they all needed.
Hesitantly, he turned to the children.
"...Shall we go around one more time?"
"Sounds good."
His cautious suggestion was warmly accepted. With their agreement, Sihyun turned back toward the garden, listening to the children change the subject to their favorite seasons. He swallowed a breath he'd been holding.
Even after sharing all their secrets, the atmosphere remained light and easy. Now they were discussing their favorite seasons, and Sihyun let out the breath he'd been holding.
The air felt soft.
For the first time in a long while, he felt truly at ease.
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