The conversation at the beach was unusually long, and on the way back home, there wasn't much talk in the car. Instead, Seihyun felt more restless and overwhelmed than when he was at the beach. He calmly organized his dizzying thoughts.
Hamin had proposed a partnership, and there was about a week left until the start of school. Although the detailed academic schedule was unknown, it seemed prudent to decide on a partner at least until then, considering the likelihood of changing partners shortly after the start of school.
However, fate had it that both Hamin and Yoo Seowoo received partnership proposals.
Hamin.
And then,
Kang Sihyun.
Suddenly, memories of the day when he partnered with Haru flashed in his mind. At that time, he had clearly chosen Haru to avoid the Four Heavenly Kings, but before he knew it, not only Haru but also others had become entangled with him. Moreover, he received another partnership proposal, quite different from the attitude he had shown initially.
Feeling unfairly treated, Seihyun, with his arms on the windowsill, sighed as he touched his lips with his hand.
He had tried to push them away, but when he realized it, they were already around him. Despite living for months with them, he couldn't help but wonder if avoiding them and living in isolation was the right thing to do. Being human, he couldn't help but feel a mix of dislike and fondness after spending a long time with them. Besides, they had experienced various things together.
He had faced unusual events, and each time, they were by his side. It was inevitable to develop some affection.
As he first avoided Yoo Seowoo and went to school alone, now he found himself not avoiding them, whether going to school or going out. Having only planned to take care of Haru and lead a peaceful and comfortable life, he couldn't understand how things turned out like this.
Despite his initial intention, he had unexpectedly received partnership proposals from both Hamin and Yoo Seowoo.
Thinking about the time when he partnered with Yoo Seowoo for a moment, he recalled that he had chosen Haru to avoid the Four Heavenly Kings, but somehow ended up receiving another partnership proposal. Moreover, it was a rather serious proposal, different from the attitude he had initially seen.
Feeling unjust, Seihyun leaned against the window with his elbow, his hand covering his mouth.
He had tried to reject them, but now they were already around him. Despite spending several months with them face to face, he still wondered if living like this was what it meant to be human. Even he, with feelings, couldn't help but develop both dislike and fondness after a long time. Moreover, they had been through various things together.
He had experienced several strange events, and each time, they were by his side. It was undeniable that he couldn't refuse affection.
Initially, he had intended to take only Haru and pursue a calm and comfortable life, but somehow, things turned out differently. Maybe it was his own fault for not properly pushing them away.
Seihyun, feeling a bit overwhelmed, sighed as he rested his elbow on the windowsill and covered his mouth with his hand.
He thought about rejecting them, but when he realized it, they were already around him. He had lived for months while seeing their faces, and it seemed strange to continue avoiding them. He couldn't help but feel a mix of dislike and fondness after spending a long time with them. Moreover, they had experienced various things together.
He had faced unusual events, and each time, they were by his side. It was inevitable to develop some affection.
Seihyun, feeling unjust, leaned against the window with his elbow and covered his mouth with his hand.
It seemed like he couldn't properly drive them away. Even after seeing their faces for months, avoiding them and living in isolation seemed questionable. He, too, had feelings, and the more he looked at them, the more he found them unpleasant and charming. Moreover, they had gone through various things together.
Seihyun, feeling unfairly treated, sighed as he rested his elbow on the windowsill and covered his mouth with his hand.
It felt like he couldn't properly drive them away. Even after living for months while seeing their faces, avoiding them and living in isolation felt questionable. He, too, had feelings, and seeing them for a long time naturally led to both dislike and fondness. Moreover, they had experienced various things together.
Seihyun, feeling unjust, sighed as he rested his elbow on the windowsill and covered his mouth with his hand.
Hamin had changed. Moreover, others were changing little by little. Seeing this directly made Seihyun realize that he, too, needed to change.
If he continued like this, maybe one day, he could tell his secret.
Right now, he was somehow managing to evade the issue, and for some reason, Down was closing his eyes to it. But in the distant future, even if it was far away, he wanted to tell Down about it. That he wasn't Kang Sihyun. He had the qualification to tell him, as he had been Kang Sihyun's closest associate.
Seihyun, exhaling, began to scrutinize people he had avoided while maintaining a defiant attitude. They were the central figures in Insomnia, and even though they were young, they were not fully grown children. They had their shortcomings and many human traits.
Jealousy, as mentioned by Yoo Seowoo, and Hamin getting angry because he got one question wrong during the test were examples. Up until now, these incidents seemed normal.
Seihyun, deep in thought, suddenly realized that something was strange and blinked his eyes.
Certainly, at that time, Hamin had chosen only one answer in a question where he had to choose two, and because of that, he got the question wrong. However, why did the ranking sheet after the exam show that he and Seihyun were tied for first place with perfect scores? And Seihyun,
Why didn't he feel anything strange at that time?
"Why?"
A quiet murmur turned into a voice of uncertainty. Reflecting on the events of that day, Sihyun couldn't help but feel a sense of unease about how he had been. Despite the embarrassment that came with the prominently displayed report card, he hadn't been completely absent-minded the day before. Memorizing the streets was an exception, but he had a decent memory. Yet, he couldn't shake off the puzzling feeling of not remembering even the events of the previous day after seeing Hamin's grades.
"Could it just be forgetfulness? But that seems unlikely," he muttered to himself, contemplating the possibility of early-onset dementia. However, there was only one symptom, making it insufficient evidence. Sihyun recalled how he had perceived Hamin's grades passively back then, without any sense of suspicion.
"Maybe I just overlooked it, but it's not something I can easily ignore. Even if S Corporation manipulated Hamin's grades with their influence, I should have noticed. As someone sensitive about grades, I should have been aware," he thought, scrutinizing his own behavior.
"…Young man, it's unlikely to be dementia."
Even with just this one incident, he couldn't dismiss the thought of being monitored. The mention of S Corporation's involvement in the novel's plot made him realize how he had missed a significant clue.
"Why?" he wondered aloud, attempting to figure out who might have influenced his actions.
Later, he remembered that during the conversation with Kang Sihyun, the latter had mentioned something crucial. Sihyun, deep in thought, stared out the window with a puzzled expression.
"Who could that be?"
Belatedly, he pondered the words Kang Sihyun had spoken, and the realization struck him that he had overlooked a crucial piece of evidence. The unassuming talk after the accident suggested that someone had manipulated his mind.
The blue eyes widened significantly as he remembered the voice he had heard at that time. The voice had warned him that someone would continuously manipulate him, even if not directly interfering with his mind as before. The voice had aimed to keep him constantly aware that this world was a novel.
"Why would someone do this?"
Sihyun questioned the identity of this manipulator, realizing that someone had a vested interest in him. The probability was high that this person had made some kind of contract or bet with Kang Sihyun. Kang Sihyun, restricted in his expressions and actions, had likely entered into such an arrangement.
Ultimately, the mention of "cheating" in Kang Sihyun's statement about the manipulator lingered in Sihyun's mind. Even with everything he had sorted out, fear and uncertainty crept in. The fear that someone was watching him, meddling in his thoughts, haunted him.
He couldn't help but feel anxious about what might unfold. The puzzle pieces were coming together, but the picture they would reveal remained uncertain. The uncertainty became a source of anxiety, the most dreaded emotion, and it grew from the inherent unpredictability of the situation.
Lost in these thoughts, Sihyun felt a shiver run down his spine. The realization that he was being monitored and influenced by someone else, coupled with the fear of the unknown, made him acutely aware of his own vulnerability. The moment was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread, unlike anything he had experienced since arriving in this world.
"…"
Sihyun's internal turmoil manifested externally, and Hamin, noticing the change, reached out in concern. His large hand trembled slightly as he placed it on Sihyun's stiff shoulder.
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
"…."
"Are you in pain?"
"…."
Sihyun offered no response, struggling to find words. It was difficult to admit that something was wrong. Even if asked about the cause of his distress, he found it challenging to articulate.
Someone is making a bet on me, manipulating my thoughts. I've only just realized this fact, and it's terrifying to think that this someone might continue to observe me and interfere with my mind.
The possibilities were overwhelming, and Sihyun felt paralyzed by the weight of the truth. The burden of a secret he could never reveal, regardless of how heavy and burdensome, loomed ahead. Even if his sanity were to falter tomorrow, he couldn't share this story. It was a daunting secret, the most fearful one he would carry for the rest of his life.
Every moment would be filled with doubt, questioning the validity of his will and the potential for unintended consequences. Living without relying on anyone, pondering these questions alone, he would inevitably find himself facing the unknown.
It was terrifying, for the first time since arriving in this world, Sihyun felt fear.
"…."
"I prefer when you show everything to me, just as you are now."
"Whether it's your expression or words."
"Without hiding anything."
Suddenly, he recalled a voice he had heard before. Back then, he had dismissed it as childish, almost laughable. But now, it resonated as a comforting presence, shaking him like a gentle embrace. His eyelashes trembled vulnerably.
"…Are you okay? Right now."
Not okay, not at all.
As Sihyun struggled, Hamin decisively pressed him for an answer. The pressure felt on his shoulder intensified. Sensing the stinging in his eyes, Sihyun bit his lip and held back his breath.
It seemed like tears might come at any moment.
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