Haemin lowered the hand that had been resting on Sihyun's shoulder, sensing Sihyun's unease as he looked bewildered. The dampness in his blue eyes made him appear anxious. Sihyun had never seemed so vulnerable before, even when held captive by Titan. Among the group, he had always been the most composed.
"Why are you like this?"
"..."
"Kang Sihyun."
Even with the question and the call, Sihyun remained silent. He simply stared with large eyes, lips pressed together. In that moment, he felt so helpless that he couldn't believe it was him. No matter what he asked, Sihyun wouldn't respond, and there was nothing Haemin could do to comfort him.
All I could do in this situation was to silently be there.
Like people who usually didn't reveal themselves well, Sihyun probably didn't want to show his vulnerable side to others. Indeed, he avoided eye contact, lowering his head, so Haemin moved his hand.
His hand, which had hesitated for a moment, reached out and grasped Sihyun. Despite it being summer, Haemin, holding Sihyun's cold hand, turned to look out the window.
He wondered if Sihyun would cry, but there was no sound of tears. Haemin couldn't decide whether to be relieved or not.
After a while, Sihyun, who had released Haemin's hand, took a deep breath. Although he didn't cry, the feeling that tears might come out lingered. Sihyun silently sat down, gazing out the window at the rapidly passing scenery, and the black car slid smoothly towards a familiar place.
Even though he hadn't mentioned his home address, the car stopped in front of his house. Wondering if Haek had investigated, Sihyun, who had no energy to think deeply, closed his eyes slowly.
"Get off."
"..."
Even though they had arrived quite a while ago, Sihyun showed no intention of getting off. Haemin spoke, wondering why Sihyun wasn't getting off. Sihyun, who heard the words, gazed at the house through the window, blinked rapidly, and then clenched his fist.
As he slowly moved to get off the car, Haemin, who had spoken earlier, held Sihyun back. He had just warned him not to hold him too tightly, but as Sihyun looked at the house through the window, Haemin spoke with a momentary hesitation.
"…Contact me if anything happens."
"..."
"If you want, you can give me your number, too."
Speaking in a low voice, Haemin hesitated a bit, looking at my hand before slowly releasing Sihyun. The purple eyes lingered on me for a moment before moving away with a departure message. The black car smoothly slid away without a sound. Watching it, Sihyun, who looked at the house, entered through the door.
After quickly greeting Kang Sihyun's parents, whom he hadn't seen in a long time, he headed to his room. Although he felt sorry for his parents, who had seen their son after a long time, the current situation was not suitable for friendly conversations.
As he took a step into the room, Pia, who had flown in at an unexpectedly fast speed, thrust his body into Sihyun's chest. Plop! Making a sound, Pia, nestled in his chest, walked towards the bed as Sihyun weakly walked.
As he sat down as if collapsing onto the mattress, Pia, who sensed something strange, looked up at Sihyun. His round eyes blinked once, closed, opened again, and then, after a while, a small creature sprinkled with fingers cried, "Pee, pee." Sihyun, realizing that it was worried about him, petted Pia, who was trying to be affectionate. The exhausted eyes closed as Sihyun gently stroked Pia.
"…Sorry for being late."
"Pee..."
"Are you okay?"
"Puff, puff."
Just a while ago, Pia was scolding him vigorously with its beak, but now it spread its wings as if to say everything was fine. Sihyun handed over his fingers again using his thumb and forefinger. While comforting the worried Pia, he let it know that everything was okay. Only after Sihyun's care returned did Pia, who had hesitated, suck mana.
Using his thumb and forefinger to stroke Pia, who had been treated as much as he had never seen before, Sihyun held him and lay down on the mattress. Placing Pia on his stomach and staring blankly at the ceiling without any enthusiasm. His gaze, which had flowed, reached the desk maintaining the same state as before, with every detail in place. On the reddish-brown desk, the notebook he had written before going for the model shoot lay there, full of notes.
He had thought about a lot of things.
There were many things to do and consider.
But now his mind felt like a blank sheet of paper. As if his brain was refusing to think.
Trying to console himself, Sihyun recalled the thoughts he had while thinking in the car. He remembered what he had noticed one by one. Suddenly, he gnashed his teeth in frustration. Even if he discovered these things, the fact that he couldn't come up with a way to deal with them was frustrating.
Drowning in helplessness, his mood sank endlessly. In a condition where he didn't even consider the idea of coming up from deep within, Sihyun covered himself with a blanket.
"Puff, puff?"
"..."
"Pee..."
Seemingly aware of Sihyun's mood, Pia, who was quietly absorbing mana, cried pitifully at the blanket covering him. Something fluffy and bumpy under the blanket came up to Sihyun and rubbed against him vigorously.
The furry fur tickled his face. Although he wanted to laugh lightly at the adorable gesture trying to comfort him, his mouth didn't move. He embraced Pia with more strength in the hand that held him. He felt depressed. If he fell asleep like this, he would undoubtedly have unpleasant dreams. Despite knowing this, Sihyun closed his eyes.
It felt like his body was sinking into an uncomfortable and sticky sea.
***
Flames engulfed everything in all directions. The colossal entity, grown in size, surged and swirled around the house like a runaway explosion. The scorching and cruel fire consumed everything – the house and cherished belongings alike. It flickered fiercely, filling the field of vision. Distantly, a voice calling my name reached me, and Sihyun cried out for his mom.
"Sihyun!"
A desperate and loud voice called out to him. Despite wailing, Sihyun turned towards the direction of the sound. It was his dad. He came to rescue him. "Dad!" Sihyun ran towards him, reaching out with his hands.
Whoosh!
A sound of something breaking echoed.
"Dad!"
Sihyun cried. He cried because it was hot, and he cried because it hurt. In the midst of the biting and spicy smoke, Sihyun coughed, and as he did, he collapsed to the side. The world seen through his small pupils was entirely dark and red.
The flames consumed everything.
The house, precious belongings, and the tranquility.
The perspective reversed.
Clickety-clack, the sound of the fire disappeared. Sihyun, now with a slightly elevated view, heard his mom's weeping. His older sister, with a hardened expression, came over and hugged the trembling Sihyun, saying, "Let's survive, Sihyun."
Let's survive, like relentless beasts.
His sister embraced him tightly, whispering those words. Sihyun heard them again after a long time.
Since that day, his mom's weeping never ceased. The once strong mom grew thinner and more fragile each passing day. One day, after coming home from school, Sihyun found a medicine bottle rolling on the narrow floor. The chain on it prevented it from rolling far, and it hit the wall. His sister hadn't returned from school yet. Hesitant, Sihyun entered the room where his mom was. The familiar feet came into view. His gaze, trembling, slowly rose. There it was...
"Pffung!"
"...Ugh!"
With a stinging pain, Sihyun suddenly opened his eyes, feeling cold sweat trickling down his forehead. A clean ceiling came into view. It was a white ceiling without any burn marks, and there were no bugs crawling on it, no wallpaper stained black.
"Pffufu! Pffufu!"
With a cheeky sound, Pia, who woke him up, hopped around on the phone. As if urging him to check it.
"Ugh."
Wiping his face with his dry hands, Sihyun felt the sweat. In the meantime, Pia brought the phone, trying hard to drag it with his tiny body. Staring at his expectant eyes, Sihyun sighed. It seemed like another nightmare.
Since the day at the beach, two days had passed. Though sporadic messages came in, Sihyun didn't bother to check them and stayed confined to his room. Worried, Kang Sihyun's parents visited his room several times. Every time, he dismissed them with the excuse of being tired. Today, like the previous days, he closed his eyes, entering the nightmare he dreamed.
Not a prophetic dream, but a nightmare.
A nightmare he hadn't had for a long time.
A nightmare, relentless.
He wiped his face with his dry hands, recalling the nightmare. Pia, who was whining, brought the phone. Reluctantly, he checked it. It seemed that various messages from Class A kids had arrived.
"Pfup!"
Pia pointed at the top of the phone with his beak. Following his gaze, Sihyun read the text message from Hajin.
[It's been a while since we hung out. Join us.]
Although he said to contact him if needed, he reached out first. Sihyun focused on the phrase "all together." It seemed like he made the appointment because of him.
"...He cares in his way."
Realizing that he couldn't keep spending time like this with the vacation coming to an end, Kang Sihyun slowly got up from his bed. Having skipped meals and slept like a corpse, Sihyun's vision momentarily flickered. He endured it, reluctantly confirming the neglected phone. Messages from classmates in Class A were apparent.
"Pfufufu!"
Shaking his wings vigorously, Pia expressed joy, as if saying it was time to go. Hesitating for a moment, Sihyun, who endured the dizziness caused by not eating, finally sent a reply.
[Where are we going?]
The phone vibrated immediately.
[I didn't think about it. Even buy clothes for Ban Haru.]
[You wanted to buy it.]
Remembering the events from two days ago, Sihyun recalled the worried expression of Hajin, who held his arm. He read Hajin's unfamiliar message again. It seemed like he had made the appointment due to him.
"...He's caring in his own way."
Understanding that he couldn't continue like this with the end of the vacation approaching, Sihyun reluctantly replied, confirming the messages that had been neglected for two days.
"...Alright."
Pfufu!
Pia, who confirmed that Sihyun pressed the send button, hopped around happily. Looking at him, Sihyun smiled without much energy.
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