It seems I'm destined to live here until I die.
At 16.
By the time the young Gren reached the age of 16, Kang Sihyun, remaining in the dream world, began to experience mental confusion. He wondered whether this place was a dream or reality.
Wasn't it possible that instead of a past life or a dream, I was actually living in another dimension due to a failed return to reality? Fantasy novels often have such settings. What if that really was the case? If time in reality continued to flow, what would happen to Kang Sihyun's body?
“Gren?”
“Ah.”
A clear voice awakened Kang Sihyun’s senses. Only then did he realize that he had been leaning on Day. As he slowly got up, Day showed a look of disappointment.
“You could have leaned on me a bit longer.”
“It's okay.”
Kang Sihyun shook his head and straightened his body.
How many years had passed? Over time, his relationship with Day had changed. More precisely, while Day’s affection for him remained the same, the way he responded to Day had changed. Initially skeptical of him, he now trusted Day and willingly accepted his help when needed. Had it been right after he became Gren, he would have refused, but now he felt he had no other choice.
It was a life he could not endure otherwise.
Gren's life was full of misfortune. Being beaten as a child was nothing compared to his current struggles. As time went on, Gren’s life became increasingly torturous.
Once Gren turned 14, he stopped taking beatings in place of the detestable young master. Instead, what did he do? He became a personal servant to Leonard. The wicked young boy's treatment of Gren was predictably terrible.
He tormented Gren regularly, whipped him over trivial matters, and subjected him to arduous tasks, such as sending Gren into the forest that had started to manifest monsters to retrieve a necklace that was never lost, or sneaking into his father’s, the baron's, office to steal documents. Naturally, Gren was caught and beaten mercilessly. After such beatings, Leonard would hit him again, asking if he dared to fail the master’s orders.
It was a life seemingly born to be beaten.
While Leonard treated other servants normally, his treatment of Gren was exceptionally cruel.
Enduring Leonard’s malice was something even Kang Sihyun found hard to bear. Now, even if someone simply raised their hand, he would flinch. When the symptoms worsened, it was Day who helped him.
Day gently caressed Gren's cheek, imprinting on his body that not all actions following a raised hand need be violent, and stood with him against Leonard’s harsh violence.
Though the fundamental issues were unresolved, it was enough for Kang Sihyun to endure.
After all, not everyone in the mansion hated Gren.
This realization made Kang Sihyun increasingly dependent on Day.
Having Day by his side made him feel much more at ease, and only seeing him could calm his anxieties.
This seems like dependency and separation anxiety.
By the time Kang Sihyun acknowledged this, his relationship with Day had become irrevocably deep, and his dependence on him had grown too significant.
Thus, Kang Sihyun decided to act as he felt comfortable. Relatively relying on Day allowed him to alleviate the deficiency and thirst plaguing Gren’s life, and he even rejected orders from Leonard that he disliked, accepting the consequent punishments.
Rebelling was not in his nature, so he rebelled occasionally. The most significant rebellion occurred when Leonard told Day to feed him a madness-inducing herb. He had always known, but particularly on that day, Leonard appeared especially despicable, prompting Kang Sihyun to lose his temper and strike him. Honestly, he thought he would die that day. After all, a servant had dared to strike his master.
But he struck with all his might, and for some reason, Leonard did not kill Gren. Instead, he locked him in the cellar without food or water for ten days. It was a near-death experience, but he somehow survived.
Yes, that's how he lived.
Kang Sihyun, Gren, lived that way.
Such was his life that relying on Day was an inevitability.
“Why? Did something happen?”
As he stared intently at him, the platinum-haired boy fidgeted with his hair and squinted.
Kang Sihyun shook his head and simply replied. Then, as Day looked intently back at him, he even offered a compliment.
“You look pretty.”
Hearing this, Day beamed proudly with his handsome face. His smile alone made it bearable for him.
However, the days sustained by Day's smile would soon end.
“...You’re going to the academy?”
Kang Sihyun blinked in disbelief at Day’s words. A year had passed, and they had both turned 17. It was absurd
ly late to enroll in the academy all of a sudden. As he was speechless, Day lowered his eyebrows and nodded.
“It was the baron’s command, and I couldn’t refuse. It seems Leonard pushed for it.”
Leonard, that bastard.
It seems that he has despised seeing me with Day since last year, and now he probably wants to send Day away. Kang Sihyun frowned, displeased, and sighed.
It was a situation that satisfied no one, but what could he do? His sealed divine power remained inert even at 17, and he was but a powerless servant. Protesting would have been nothing more than a child’s tantrum. Too old for such tantrums.
“...Take care. I don’t know when you’ll return.”
“Aren’t you going to stop me?”
“If I stop you, it doesn’t mean you can stay.”
“...That’s true.”
Day looked regretful. He must have hoped to be held back. Since Kang Sihyun could no longer change his words, he awkwardly hugged Day lightly instead.
“Take care. Try to advance as much as you can there. There’s nothing good waiting for you here.”
Leonard was the heir to the baron’s estate. The challenges that awaited Day if he returned were predictable, so Kang Sihyun advised him, and the boy in his arms quieted down.
“Day?”
Sensing something strange, he let go of Day and met his gaze. The eyes that had seemed chilling a moment ago softened.
“I’ll return.”
“Don’t come back.”
“I need to see you, Gren.”
“Your success is more important than that.”
“Then I’ll succeed and come back for you.”
Hmm, that wasn’t bad.
Considering it the best route out of his worst life, Kang Sihyun nodded. Day smiled brightly, and then, in the garden observed by all the servants and knights, he kissed Kang Sihyun.
The soft touch settled on his lips. Kang Sihyun’s eyes widened as he received the kiss, and when Day slightly bit his lip, leaving a faint mark, he realized they had kissed.
“You...!”
Surprised, he pushed Day’s shoulders away. All the deep skin contact they had ever had was cheek kisses when they were snotty kids. Such sudden intimacy had him rolling his eyes, unsure how to react. He sighed and glared at the boy, who smirked and kissed the palm of Kang Sihyun’s hand holding his shoulder.
“I’ll definitely come back for you, Gren.”
“...Okay.”
Kang Sihyun replied with a sigh-laden voice and stepped back. Bowing slightly, Day boarded the carriage. As the horse kicked off and he started to leave, Kang Sihyun stared blankly at the scene.
His heart felt empty, and he clenched his fist in vain.
With Day gone, he now had to endure all the time alone.
“Gren!”
“Coming!”
Time flowed swiftly even without Day, and soon Kang Sihyun, inhabiting Gren’s body, turned 18. He thought it would be extremely difficult after Day left, but it was more bearable than expected. Leonard had seemingly become more generous, which was why.
Almost every day, Leonard called Gren to beat him, but at 19, he seemed to have come to his senses, reducing the calls to once a week. Thanks to that, Kang Sihyun helped with chores around the mansion during his free time, experiencing relatively peaceful times. Not every day was easy, but on difficult days, thinking of Day’s smile made it bearable.
Quite peaceful times they were.
However, as always, the peace did not last long, and unwanted events suddenly occurred.
It was exactly one year after Day had left for the academy.
“Give me both your body and your heart.”
Is he insane?
Leonard called him and suddenly confessed. Kang Sihyun saw him as a truly mad man. He had treated others like Russ and Hahyuk as madmen, but seeing Leonard made him feel sorry for thinking they were crazy.
Leonard was a true lunatic. Somehow, he had released him from his torment only after Day left, perhaps because he liked him. Both his heart and his confession were terrible.
It was exhaustingly displeasing.
How displeasing it must have been when he felt no typical trembling despite the confession. Well, he did tremble.
From the urge to punch Leonard.
Kang Sihyun, of course, rejected Leonard’s confession. After that, life became even more arduous than before Day had left.
Kang Sihyun woke up daily at dawn to clean the stables and had to work endlessly without even managing a proper meal a day. After working for 12 hours straight to finish cleaning and odd jobs, a knight would come and order him to clean the weapons in the training grounds. The weapons were numerous and sharp. On days he received that task, Kang Sihyun
had to work at least 10 more hours.
He might die from overwork first.
Leonard, that petty bastard.
That guy must surely have everything small, from his body to his heart and even his lower half’s extension.
Kang Sihyun cursed Leonard as he endured another half-year. Occasionally beaten and ostracized by other servants due to Leonard’s anger.
Days devoid of any sympathy were a continuous sequence for Kang Sihyun, making him miss Day.
When was the academy’s vacation again? It was about time for Day to return for the break.
As he thought this, an anomaly occurred in the world that housed Gren’s body.
Monsters began to invade the empire in large numbers.
And that year, Kang Sihyun unlocked his divine power.
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