As if the time spent in despair over Eve's fall was a lie, while God put forth all effort to restore the broken world, Kang Sihyun, who had lost half his body, wandered the brink of death. Despite God immediately healing Sihyun, the damage to his spirit and soul did not return to their original state.
Life's breath, on the verge of extinguishing, flowed from his mouth, and his once crystal-clear soul turned to ashes. As the world regained some stability, God spent all his time by Sihyun's side, through the turn of several seasons.
It was after a thousand nights had passed that Sihyun opened his eyes.
Struggling to open them, the being that had been holding Sihyun's hand the whole time smiled weakly.
"Have you awakened?"
Sihyun looked at him, his vision blurred due to damaged sight.
"...Eve."
"......"
No answer came back to the question whispered out. Instead of a response, Sihyun closed his eyes to the sad smile shown to him.
Now, Eve was no more in this world.
"Gula is imprisoned in the gem, and only his children remain."
"You couldn't kill them."
"It was not possible to kill them."
The plain voice sounded somehow weaker than before. It was then that Sihyun truly looked at God, who appeared significantly weaker than the last time he had seen him.
He was too small and insignificant to be called God.
The lips of Sihyun, who had seen God lose all the dignity and vigor of their first meeting, quivered.
"...How did this come to be?"
"It was inevitable since I used power not of my own realm."
"……?"
Power not of his own realm.
Sihyun looked at God with a puzzled expression, unable to understand. God, stroking Sihyun's black hair as if to praise him for awakening safely, spoke.
"I am a creator, not a destroyer. That I have enacted destruction means I have lost that much power."
"...Aren't you God?"
"If one who governs the world is called God, then I am."
It was the first time Sihyun had heard such a thing. This statement almost seemed to imply that God was not the most supreme being.
For Sihyun, for whom the world had always been synonymous with God, and God with the world, the idea that there could be a being greater than God was difficult to grasp.
It would be more accurate to say it was unbelievable.
With wide, blinking blue eyes, God, who lightly laughed and brushed back Sihyun's hair, slowly moved his hand down to caress Sihyun's cheek.
"Adam."
"...Yes."
"My son."
"...Yes."
Son. At that designation, Sihyun's voice shook slightly. Sensing the deep tone, God, as if recalling something, closed his eyes and whispered.
"There are beings higher than God in this world."
"Who might they be?"
"Fate and Balance."
"Fate and Balance?"
There had been many firsts today. Perhaps it was because he had died and come back. As God revealed new information, Sihyun felt as though he was glimpsing behind the curtain of the world.
"Fate is the karma that every soul is born with. If my existence for creation is tied to fate, do you understand what that means?"
"...I think I understand what you're saying."
"Yes. And balance is the power that prevents dimensions from collapsing."
"What does that mean?"
It was so complex that it felt like his head would explode. As he furrowed his brow in confusion, God, with a low laugh, smoothed out the wrinkles on Sihyun's forehead. It was a gesture that smoothed out the furrows of worry.
"What I govern is but one world, and there are many worlds in the universe. They are bound together as dimensions."
"...It's difficult to understand."
"You don't have to fully understand. What I want to say is that fate and balance are the absolute powers. They are the great forces that move dimensions beyond resistance, Adam. I live under those two powers."
"......"
"So, I am neither a perfect nor an absolute being. I do not know everything, nor do I know precisely what is right. That's why I..."
At this point, God paused to look down at Sihyun. Sihyun, stopping mid-sentence, gave a puzzled look under the intense gaze.
"Why do you say that?"
"...So, I make mistakes."
In that moment, a feeling as if his heart had plummeted enveloped Sihyun. His stomach churned, his vision swayed, and he felt as though he was about to vomit all his organs out, his face turning pale. The words God had just uttered echoed in his ears.
Does that mean my birth was your mistake?
There was only one thing he wanted to ask.
But even that one thing, he couldn't easily voice. If by any chance he
heard an affirmative answer, it felt like it would be unbearable. Clenching God's hand tightly, Sihyun saw a look of understanding on the being's face as it lightly shook its head.
"You misunderstand. Your birth is not what I consider my mistake."
"Then..."
"It was my greed that was the mistake."
God continued in a lowered voice.
"The burden of creation I had shouldered alone was heavy, and I was lonely, so I thought it would be nice to have someone to share it with. That's why I created Eve and passed on to her a portion of the power of creation. That was my greed."
It was my greed in creating Eve that consumed her.
What began as a conversation had gradually shifted into something akin to a soliloquy. Listening to self-reproaches resembling a monologue, Kang Sihyun flinched at the sight of God's trembling hand. His eyes shook faintly.
It was laughably absurd.
The fact that he, created to save a being born of God's greed, dared to pity God.
The fact that he found it laughably absurd to feel sympathy for him.
How presumptuous of me.
Yet, despite this thought, Sihyun could not tear his gaze away from the one confessing secrets that had been hidden until now.
Maybe you were also greedy when you created me.
The greed to have someone by your side, no matter what. Otherwise, there would be no way to explain why I, after enduring a lifetime of misery, still hold you in reverence.
Otherwise, how could I still love you?
How could I still...
Sihyun, feeling pitifully weak in the face of God, listened intently to the secret being revealed. God, who confessed that Eve's birth was his mistake, then apologized to Sihyun. He was sorry for making Sihyun bear such a heavy burden, sorry for having neglected him. He might have just seen him as a means to an end. He apologized so sincerely.
When Sihyun heard this apology, for the first time, the supreme being seemed like a 'person' standing at the same level as himself.
For the first time, God seemed human.
Or should that even be considered human?
Perhaps they were born resembling God without knowing it. A negative mirror reflecting God's imperfections. Perhaps that's what humans are.
"...But I loved you, Adam. It wasn't that I didn't love you; I was just more concerned for the fragile child before me."
"...I know."
Fundamentally, God loved all the creatures he created. So, the words he just uttered weren't really wrong. It's just that he loved Sihyun 'less' than Eve.
Sighing with a bitter sense of self-mockery, God, who had been holding Sihyun's hand and looking down, finally met Sihyun's eyes. Their gaze was so intense that it was hard to meet directly. Sihyun did not avoid his eyes.
"Everything was my fault. The fact that you ended up like this, and Eve's fall into corruption. Even so, will you stay by my side?"
"......"
Was that the main point?
Sihyun sighed at the voice that sounded unusually frail. So, after all that long speech, that was the conclusion. Sihyun thought the being before him was incomparably selfish. A being perfect and benevolent as God? It was like hearing the crisp shattering of an illusion.
God was just another creature.
He had emotions and foolish aspects. He felt loneliness and harbored many anxieties.
And so, Sihyun said.
"...That's a cruel thing to say."
He couldn't help but love God.
"Where else would I go if not by your side?"
At Sihyun's weary reply, God's eyes widened. Sihyun, surprised, quickly smiled upon seeing the other's reaction and shook his head.
There was no dedication like this before.
No relationship so unfair, no bond so lopsided.
But what could he do?
He was still his son, and he was still his father. It was an inseparable bond. More than anything, God was too precarious now.
Without him by his side, God would likely crumble and neglect the world. Wouldn't that only bring misery to the lives already born?
"I'll stay by your side."
"Adam."
"That must be my fate, Father."
A force that could not be resisted. Mulling over what God had just said, God froze in place for a moment before laughing as if amused. Sihyun smiled faintly at the laughter, the first he had heard in a long while that held no worry or sorrow.
You will continue to be lonely for a long time.
So, I will stay by your side.
To ensure you are not lonely, to prevent you from crumbling under mistakes.
"Ah..."
Sihyun suddenly realized what his destined salvation was meant to be.
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