It was an ancient memory. And at the same time, the content of a nightmare he often had.
A house ablaze, the cries of a child, the sound of collapsing buildings.
The acrid smoke that stings the nose, the red waves that cover the eyes, the noise of the buildings that irritate the ears.
Kang Sihyun was in the fire.
Together with a man who held him, in the fire.
"It's okay, Sihyun. It's okay. It's okay…."
The repeated words made Sihyun even more anxious. Young Sihyun clung tightly to the man's hem. Maybe the whining was a call to disaster. Creak, the wooden door collapses with a clatter. Sihyun soon knew that a great disaster was about to befall him.
Maybe, he had called it upon himself.
He might have been the core of the disaster for his family.
Whoosh!
The flames engulfed the man. It was when little Sihyun's cries grew louder.
"Pfft!"
A scream-like sound was caught by his hearing. The faint sound that leaked out seemed to grow bigger and then pierced Sihyun's ears. Pfft! Along with the cry of a passionate bird, a sensation as if his nose was bitten by something sharp came. It was so intense it could draw blood.
"Ugh!"
Sihyun groaned in pain, furrowing his brows, then quickly opened his eyes. His blurred vision sharpened. As his blue eyes regained their vividness, Sihyun could properly see where he was.
He was not in the fire.
Not in a place with acrid smoke, not in a burning building, not in someone's arms.
He was just wrapped in gray fog.
Not in the young body of his childhood, but in the body of an 18-year-old.
"Pfft!"
A small illusionary bird flitted around Sihyun. It seemed to ask if he was okay now with its cry, and Sihyun looked around. After confirming Pia, who had woken him, and realizing that everything he had seen was an illusion, he grasped the situation.
The scene he had just witnessed was a hallucination.
Definitely something Septimus would do, he raised his head with a sense of alertness, and then he saw some letters flickering above his head. They were the characters of the Irregulars.
Thanks to several experiences, Sihyun was not panicked and could read them.
'The most despairing memory.'
"Pfft!"
As soon as he interpreted the text, Pia chirped and pecked around the letters as if to strike them.
"Pfft!"
The illusionary bird cried out once more, urging him on. Since he had brought Pia, he had to trust him, so without hesitation, Sihyun nodded and put strength into the hand holding the staff.
If he wished, the weapon would take any form he desired.
The memory of the time with Nonus was still in his head, unlike during the time with Decumanus. The sensation from that time was still present.
Swish.
As he requested the form of a sword in his mind, the glowing staff transformed into a sword. It was a sword he hadn't handled in a long time. Sihyun gripped the handle tightly and raised his head to slice through the letters above.
Swipe!
It was almost like slicing through air, but a clear cutting sound was heard. The split letters trembled and then disappeared into thin air. Soon, other letters appeared in their place.
'The most cruel memory.'
"…!"
Startled by the newly formed letters, Sihyun tried to cut them down, but this time, the gray fog was quicker. The fog, resembling smoke, suddenly rushed at his face. As he raised his hand to shake off the fog, a memory struck Sihyun's mind.
It wasn't Sihyun's memory.
It was a familiar yet unfamiliar, subtly unsettling memory he had never experienced.
'Why!'
'….'
'Why didn't you allow me to completely kill him? He's definitely a disaster! There's no chance for rehabilitation!'
A youth of small stature burst out angrily. The giant being before him, whose face was not visible, covered in black, spoke only with a mouth that moved to talk.
'I granted you salvation, not annihilation.'
Even the calming words that sounded like a sigh did not soften the youth's angry gaze.
'Killing him is the only way to save the world. If left alone, he will devour everything.'
'We've sealed him, so he won't devour anymore.'
'Who knows if he'll break through that seal and awaken? I will carry out the salvation as you commanded. To do that, I have to kill him.'
'Do you think the death of that child can save the world?'
'Yes.'
'Then, who can save that child?'
The giant being's voice deepened, as
if recalling a very old memory, the tone became similar to that of an elder. The youth could not answer the question. He just frowned stubbornly and kept his lips tightly shut while staring at the giant being.
A moment of silence followed, and the giant being stretched out his arm. Thud, his hand reached over the youth's head.
'I loved that child.'
'….'
'If even you, who were commanded to save him, cannot, should I not become his savior?'
The heavy voice wrapped around the youth like chains constricting the soul. At that moment, all sorts of deep and dark emotions surged in. They were not conversation anymore. The youth, with his lips tightly shut, was filled with negative emotions he could not express.
Then am I not loved?
Did you create me solely for him?
The meaning of my existence….
"Pfft!"
Just as suffocating emotions piled up inside, a small cry came at the right time. His head cleared, and breathing became easier. The memories that rushed in passed quickly through his mind, too fast to chew on or revisit.
His muddled mind cleared. By the time he was halfway conscious, the youth and the giant being were conversing again.
'I hope you're not confused.'
'….'
'Everything is my sin, so you don't need to bear my sin and sink into the abyss.'
'I know.'
The youth abruptly turned his head and responded bluntly, causing the giant being to laugh softly. His entire body lightly shook, making the world tremble, and the sunlight in the place of memory became intense. He stroked the youth's head again. It was a very gentle and cautious touch.
'You were made from the most upright roots of a tree and the most dazzling dawn.'
'What are you talking about all of a sudden?'
'It means you can be a light to anyone without faltering. So….'
The giant being trailed off. Suddenly, Sihyun was not just pondering their conversation alone but standing in their place, secretly watching. As if not just a mere memory. Unconsciously, he empathized, was moved, and joined the memory. That's when it happened.
Suddenly, the giant being turned to look at Sihyun.
Clearly not part of the memory, he was.
He slowly opened his mouth and uttered the words he hadn't said.
'Adam.'
Do what you must.
The voice seemed to pierce through his head. Flash! A light flickered before his eyes, and a short bolt of lightning struck. The staff in his hand sparkled more brightly than ever.
The staff, transformed into a sword, was now shaped like a bow. The arrow was also in his hand.
Staring dumbfoundedly at the weapon in his hand, Sihyun belatedly realized he had escaped from the memory.
"What was that just now?"
It was a dazed feeling.
He couldn't pin down what memory he had seen. But one thing was certain, though it was the first time he had seen it, it was unmistakably his memory.
With a confused expression, Sihyun gripped the bow tightly to regain his senses. Now was not the time to mull over dreams.
Looking up, the letters still formed the sentence of the most cruel memory above his head.
Whoosh!
Gripping the arrow in his hand and swinging it, the letters split. This time, new letters did not form. Instead, the dense fog slightly faded, briefly revealing the figures of his fallen comrades.
They must have seen memories similar to his own, tailored to each of their lives.
"Pfft!"
Pia, who had helped him in both the first and second memories, flew to Haemin and Hahyuk's side, fluttering its wings. As if to show that he couldn't do it alone, Sihyun took a deep breath and straightened the bow.
"It's okay."
He muttered softly and pulled the bowstring, fixing the arrow. There was no need to specify a target.
He just wanted to blow away the cursed fog that had created this situation.
Aiming straight ahead, Sihyun held his breath. In the dark space, the bow transformed from the staff glowed.
Ping!
Releasing the taut string, the loaded arrow shot forward as if it had been waiting.
The fierce arrow left a trail of white light as it pierced forward. The gray fog hesitated as the arrow sliced through the air, beginning to fade bit by bit. As the arrow advanced, the retreating fog finally cleared completely.
"Lee Haemin!"
The figures of the fallen comrades became visible. Excluding Haru, everyone was there, so Sihyun called out to Haemin, who was closest, to wake him. Pfft! Pia was flying to Hahyuk, pecking at his nose and cheeks.
The most despairing memory.
And, the most cruel memory.
Both memories could have a significant impact on Haemin, who had an unfortunate past. It was crucial to ensure he didn't fall deeper into the nightmares and hallucinations that Septimus was showing.
Shaking the boy vigorously, his dry lips parted, and a faint moan escaped. Suddenly, the boy grimaced. Sihyun shook him even more forcefully.
"Ugh..."
Finally, Haemin, who had turned pale, managed to half-open his eyes. But even though he opened his eyes, his purple irises were still blurry. Thinking that a slap might be necessary to fully awaken him, Sihyun was about to raise his hand when—
Clasp.
Haemin's hand caught Sihyun's.
"Just stay like this for a moment. Just a moment..."
His voice, uncharacteristically weak, trembled slightly. It was unclear whether he was speaking to someone in his dream or to Sihyun. Squinting to assess the situation, Sihyun saw Haemin's irises slowly but surely regain their original color.
It was meant for him.
Making his decision, Sihyun held the boy's hand tightly and barely moved his lips.
"It's all a damn dream, so wake up."
His remark, somewhat like a rebuke, caused the still drowsy boy to crack a small smile.
"Is that supposed to be consolation or a threat?"
"Think whatever you want."
Sihyun replied quietly and surveyed the surroundings. Hahyuk was belatedly sitting up, and Pia, having successfully awakened him, flew to the rest of the team. Sihyun, wondering if he had seen wrong, carefully checked each member of the team and then bit his lip.
Haru was still nowhere to be seen.
Thank you for reading this far! You can access more chapters from HERE by joining my Patreon community. You'll gain exclusive early access to the COMPLETE NOVEL.
As a member of my Patreon community, here is what you'll get:
For $5
- Early access to 100s of chapters before they go public.
- You also get access to all the novels I'm translating, you can find them here HERE.
- Your name will be featured on the "Wall of Gratitude".
- The power to vote on which novel I translate next.
- You Get Ad-free Chapters.
For $10
- You get to suggest a Novel for me to translate.
- You get access to Digital art.
- Your name featured on the "Wall of Gratitude" (in gold).
For $20
- You get to recommend a Novel and I will immediately start translating it.
- Your name featured on the "Wall of Gratitude" (in blue).
Plus, you can Cancel your membership at any time.
Don't let this amazing opportunity slip through your fingers!
