The party began without anyone figuring out why Hamin was upset. It was a simple affair—dinner followed by a movie and some lively games, but the variety of board games Haewoon brought made it quite enjoyable.
Throughout the evening, they created a time capsule with videos and even threw the cake they brought to eat. For Kang Sihyun, who had to clean up, it was maddening.
What he had thought of as calm kids played wildly as if unleashed. Only Seowoo, Geonu, and Haru maintained a semblance of decorum. It was then Sihyun realized that these kids were comparatively well-behaved during their time at the Choaegang High School dormitory. Their excitement had been tempered.
There wouldn’t be a second Christmas party.
Watching Hamin throw cake at Haewoon and Daun and Jihye sing with their heads turned, Sihyun firmly decided to decline any party next year. The calm only returned around 1 a.m. after the children had screamed themselves hoarse from horror movies.
Sihyun sighed with relief at the quiet. He had managed them well, it seemed—taming Hamin with a horror movie marathon and satiating Daun, Jihye, and Haewoon with heaps of food. Peace was restored once the four instigators quieted down.
That peace lasted until Haewoon, sprawled out from exhaustion, suggested a pillow fight.
Despite Sihyun's protests, Geonu and Haru joined in eagerly. Reluctantly, Sihyun, along with Seowoo, was dragged into participating.
Eventually, after more chaos, everyone collapsed from exhaustion around 3 a.m. Seowoo was the one to tidy up the sleeping arrangements, despite the mess everywhere.
"Should we call it a night?"
Seowoo's tidy voice somehow fit the disarray as the kids groggily got up. It was like watching a scene of necromancy in action.
Seowoo and Geonu took care of the rooms, dividing them among the kids. Sihyun, feeling as if he had expended a month's worth of energy in one day, collapsed into bed. He couldn't muster the energy to clean alone. Though Seowoo, Geonu, and Haru would've helped if asked, cleaning up was always harder than making a mess. The mess was too much for just four to handle.
"Do we have to clean up?"
"…Let's do it when the sun's up."
Sihyun, trying to ignore the disarray, asked Haru with a heavy heart. Despite his physical and mental fatigue, sleep was elusive.
Tick, tock.
The sound of the clock's second hand was clear, as were the breathing of the kids and even Pia's restless movements. His senses were too sharp, making sleep impossible. Frustrated, Sihyun changed positions, sighing.
After more than an hour of tossing and turning, he finally got up.
Sleep was nowhere to be found, a rarity for such a tiring day. Despite his eyes burning with fatigue, the others slept soundly while he lay awake for two hours.
Quietly, to avoid waking anyone, Sihyun stepped out onto the balcony.
He wrapped an unknown jacket around himself against the winter chill. The cool air was a slap to his face.
"This habit remains unchanged."
Whenever sleep eluded him in winter, he'd dress and step out into the night. Counterintuitively, this awakened him, but it was preferable to tossing and turning in bed. The habit persisted despite changes.
The biting wind cleared his mind, soothing his troubled thoughts. His breath fogged lightly in the air. Feeling a bit cold, Sihyun crossed his arms for warmth and leaned on the railing, his gaze wandering to the distant roads. A familiar voice then broke the silence.
"Can't sleep, huh?"
Sihyun was surprised to hear anyone else; he thought he was alone. Turning around, he saw Seowoo, neat and clean, as if he hadn't been asleep.
"Why are you out here?"
"You went out, so..."
Seowoo shrugged, hinting he too was restless.
Seowoo wrapped a brown scarf around Sihyun, noticing his discomfort.
"What's this?"
"You looked cold."
"You seem colder."
Sihyun, wearing a jacket, remarked on Seowoo's light attire. Seowoo chuckled at the complaint, indicating he intended to stay outside as well.
"Let's talk, Sihyun."
"…About what?"
Seowoo's sudden question stopped Sihyun from re-entering the house. Seowoo blocked the balcony door, tilting his head with an easy confidence. Sihyun was baffled; he had intended to go back inside out of concern for Seowoo, who seemed unfazed despite the cold.
Sihyun didn't know
what Seowoo wanted to discuss, but that wasn't the immediate concern. He had no desire to deal with a disaster in his own home.
"Come inside, you'll catch a cold."
"It's fine."
"You don't look fine; come in."
"If you're that worried, you could warm me up."
Seowoo teased, earning an annoyed glance from Sihyun. Smirking, Seowoo leaned against the door, showing no intention to move. Frustrated, Sihyun approached, trying to open the door himself, but Seowoo wouldn't budge, leading to an exasperated outburst.
"Why are you like this?"
"Are you worried about me?"
"What?"
"Why are you surprised? I'm just asking if you're worried about me."
Seowoo's tone was smooth. His behavior was perplexing, even by his standards. Was it the cold, or lack of sleep, that affected his reasoning? Sihyun felt this standoff resembled times when Seowoo was sick.
Being stubborn. Repeating himself. And unusually bold physical contact.
As Sihyun tried to open the door, Seowoo caught his hand and kissed it, making Sihyun quickly withdraw. His palm felt warm.
Surprised, Sihyun glared at Seowoo, who smiled again. Sihyun was convinced Seowoo was unwell.
"You look sick to me."
"Here we go again."
"It's not 'again.' You really seem sick. Are you feverish?"
Seowoo kept laughing off the concern, his reaction reminiscent of times he was actually ill. Sihyun, feeling uneasy, reached out to check Seowoo's forehead. It felt warm, but the cold air made it hard to be sure.
It seemed best to go inside for a better assessment.
"Come inside, Seowoo."
"You're worried about me."
"…Just come inside."
Arguing with a possibly sick Seowoo was only exhausting for Sihyun. The situation was absurd, with Sihyun growing more anxious while Seowoo remained nonchalantly charming.
The wind grew colder. Sihyun, even in a jacket, felt it; Seowoo would be feeling it more. Sihyun worried Seowoo might fall ill, which would be a loss for him, yet he was the more agitated. Realizing this, his stubbornness peeked through.
Ready to let Seowoo face the consequences, Sihyun turned back, but Seowoo caught his hand.
"Let's talk, Sihyun."
Caught off-guard, Sihyun steadied himself and glared at Seowoo.
"Are you crazy?"
"Do I seem that way?"
"Yes."
Seowoo's calm query met with a sharp reply, softening his gaze. His laughter cut through the wind, prompting Sihyun to reconsider. It appeared Seowoo was determined to be stubborn. It might be easier to just indulge him.
Sihyun gave in.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"About you."
"What about me...?"
"About where you lived, how you lived, your real name."
"..."
"Things like that."
There was more to tell than what had been shared weeks ago.
Seowoo's whisper was secretive. Sihyun tried to pull his hand away, but Seowoo's grip tightened, preventing escape.
"Why bring up a finished story?"
"I want to hear it."
"What's so interesting?"
"You think I want to listen because it's 'interesting'?"
"Then why?"
Pressed for another motive, Seowoo laughed softly, a self-mocking sound. Sihyun had seen this expression on others before. Remembering Hamin made him catch his breath. Seowoo's long, white fingers traced up Sihyun's wrist, sending a ticklish sensation through his body.
"I want to know more about you, to feel like I should. I want to look at you directly. So, please tell me. You needed someone to share your story with, right?"
Or someone to fully understand you.
Seowoo's low whisper, holding Sihyun's wrist tightly, was too tender. His voice, coaxing out the truth, pierced Sihyun's resolve. A need Sihyun had tried to ignore was stimulated.
Their eyes locked.
Seowoo's platinum eyes softened, enveloping Sihyun in warmth.
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