The beginning and the end now felt unsurprisingly mundane. Having spent energy fretting before sleep, the arrival of his visitor brought more exasperation than pleasure, prompting a sigh from Sihyun as the familiar figure ceased its hand-waving.
"What, not happy to see me anymore? I thought you'd be waiting on tenterhooks."
The tone was one of feigned hurt. Under normal circumstances, Sihyun might have agreed, moving towards the boy.
There were many questions he wanted to ask about Pia, mana collisions, dreams, and more. Yet, already drained by Hamin's antics, he lacked the energy to engage with Kang Sihyun further. Meetings with him often came laden with overwhelming information and headache-inducing truths. The aftermath usually required deep reflection and organization of thoughts, a task Sihyun felt unequipped for today.
He would be fortunate just to not miss any crucial information.
Despite his exhaustion, it wasn't a meeting he could dismiss at will. Thus, Sihyun merely sat beside the boy, letting out a sigh that morphed into a groan.
"Your face looks heavy with thoughts."
"When has it ever not been?"
"That's why I tell you to think less complicatedly. Why not just go for it and start dating?"
"What?"
It seemed he had seen everything. Sihyun's dismissive reaction to the overly impulsive advice prompted the boy to shrug, showing an incredulous expression.
"Everyone dates someone at some point when they're young. Why take it so seriously?"
"I don't want to hurt anyone unnecessarily."
"Why assume it'll lead to hurt?"
"Because I have no intention of dating."
"Feelings can develop through dating."
"...There's no point in talking to you."
Everything the boy said sounded like sophistry. Muttering about the impossibility of starting a relationship without mutual interest, the boy chided Sihyun for his stubbornness. Frustrated by the boy's oversimplification, especially when he couldn't possibly understand Sihyun's feelings, he scowled.
The reason for not dating was simple: there was no desire to. Regardless of who confessed, the situation would remain the same. A relationship without mutual feelings was doomed from the start. Even if pressured into dating by Hamin's persistence, it was Hamin who would end up hurt in the end.
Sihyun sought to prevent that outcome, but the boy before him flippantly suggested that feelings might develop later, a stark contrast to Sihyun's more cautious outlook. If the boy was water, Sihyun considered himself oil.
"So, you're not going to date anyone?"
"For now, that seems to be the case."
"Why?"
"Because dating is for people who can afford it."
Love required investment. While it might sound presumptuous, Sihyun believed love demanded time, emotional energy, and a piece of one's heart. His life was too constrained for such emotions. With immediate concerns forming insurmountable barriers, dating was a luxury.
He doubted explaining this would make Kang Sihyun understand. Simply stating he lacked the leisure for dating, the boy tapped Sihyun's shoulder in what seemed like consolation.
"Well, if you say so."
"Your understanding brings me to tears."
The reply was flat, tinged with sarcasm but not without a hint of amusement as the boy chuckled, draping an arm around Sihyun's shoulder. Sihyun quickly shrugged it off; their camaraderie lasted barely five seconds.
"So, let's get to the point. We didn't come here to make such idle talk."
"I always say, it's not me who comes here, but you. Though, it seems there won't be much time left for that."
"What do you mean?"
Sihyun tilted his head at the boy's casual remark. It seemed Kang Sihyun followed a rule to utter something incomprehensible at least once during their conversations. Otherwise, there was no explaining his consistently cryptic statements.
"Exactly what I said. The time you and I have left to see each other isn't much."
"I'm asking why there isn't much time left."
"Shouldn't you be figuring that out by now?"
"What?"
How was he supposed to find out without a clue? Sihyun's incredulity was met with a playful laugh from the boy, who then changed the subject.
"There's someone paving the way for us to meet. The opportunity they've given us is running out. So, instead of dwelling on this, shouldn't you be asking me as many questions as possible?"
"From what I see, it looks like we might only meet twice more, at most."
It was still an incomprehensible sound. The only thing I could understand was that there might only be two more opportunities to meet him, so with a sigh, I examined the boy's face, familiar yet still alien.
Had I known I'd see him in this dream, I would've prepared questions before falling asleep. But until then, my thoughts had been preoccupied with Hamin's confession, leaving my mind as blank as a sheet of paper. Scrambling through my memory, I managed to compile a rough list of questions.
"Before I start asking, there isn't a limit to how many questions I can ask today, is there?"
"There's no limit to your questions, only to what I can't disclose. But you've learned quite a lot already, so there shouldn't be too much restriction on our conversation."
That was a relief. Just as I began to feel reassured, the boy let out a sigh and flashed a mischievous smile.
"But there's a time limit, so you'd better start asking quickly."
"What?"
He sure said that quickly. If that was the case, why did we waste time on pointless chatter from the moment we met? I shot him a reproachful look, and he scratched his head, apologizing. He claimed to have missed human interaction, his cheerful voice somehow invoking sympathy. He was a boy difficult to despise.
"Next time, if there's a time limit, tell me sooner."
"Sure, sure."
His response showed no signs of remorse. Convinced that our next meeting wouldn't be much different, I swallowed a sigh and chose my first question, which came to me sooner than expected.
It was something I'd been curious about but had never directly asked. Before voicing the question, I examined the boy's face, licked my lips, and finally spoke.
"Why do you help me?"
"Huh?"
The reason behind his assistance had always intrigued me. Seemingly caught off guard by such a query, the boy looked puzzled. Unwilling to retract my question, I continued in a calm tone.
"It's strange when I think about it. There's no obvious reason for you to be so dedicated to helping me. Beyond just lending a hand, you seem willing to do everything within your power for me, even though I wasn't someone you knew before. Why is that?"
"Wait, wait. Is that really your first question?"
"Yes."
"Not about mana collisions, Pia, or anything like that?"
"Mana collisions seem like something you'd handle anyway, so they got deprioritized. You mentioned something god-like, so you'll manage. How you answer this question might help me filter out my other questions, so just answer."
With the reminder of a time limit.
Sihyun urged him for an answer with a casual tone. The boy, visibly flustered, raised his hand to scratch his head. After a moment of silence, he smiled faintly, a distant and serene expression on his face.
"You have some idea why I do this, don't you?"
"......"
"Because I'm a fool. That's why."
Going out of my way to save a complete stranger, even offering up my own body. And yet, hoping that stranger finds happiness, to the extent that I'd give anything. It's because I'm a fool.
His voice was laden with sentiment, too poignant. The depth of his tone suggested a dark backstory, hinting at his complexities. A single wistful smile and a voice both clear and paradoxically heavy changed the atmosphere. Usually, I would've been swept along by the mood and remained silent.
But today was not that day. Pushing the boy's head away from my shoulder where he had naturally rested, I looked him straight in the eye. My firm gesture made the boy wear a begrudging expression.
"I'll agree you're foolishly kind."
"...Really?"
"But that's not what I asked."
"Huh?"
His confusion at my follow-up made it clear. Reflecting on our past conversations, what had truly sparked my suspicion was his answer when I asked if he was a god.
He said he wasn't. And then, almost self-mockingly, he likened himself to something akin to a slave, which led me to a hypothesis.
That was what I intended to ask now.
A theory I had vaguely formed long ago but hadn't fully articulated, perhaps even deliberately ignoring. If our meetings were indeed numbered, I had to ask while I still could.
No matter his response, I resolved not to feel betrayed and clenched my fist.
"You."
"......"
"Did you make some kind of bet or contract about me?"
With that entity you call a god?
As I voiced the long-pondered theory, the boy's shoulders twitched. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. His reaction alone confirmed his answer, and I bit my lip hard. Though within my expectations, the inevitable constriction of my breath was unavoidable.
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