"What?"
Does this mean we're keeping our distance?
It felt like just a moment ago, we were quite close, but I'm not sure why the conversation took this turn. Sihyun wasn't so closed off or naive to reject the idea of being comfortable around someone. Was it my misconception?
I felt like I was missing something.
As if searching for an answer to what piece I hadn't seen, Sihyun stared, sweeping his black hair aside. Najik's sigh escaped his lips and echoed on the ground.
"It's fine if you feel comfortable around me."
"Huh?"
"I'd appreciate it if you were a bit more considerate. Pay attention, you know?"
That's how it is with Seowoo. Najik added, rubbing his neck and glancing towards the door as if expecting someone to arrive. Sihyun, rolling his eyes as if someone was coming, checked the firmly closed door of the training room and mulled over Najik's words.
After responding that he wished for discomfort despite saying he'd like to be comfortable, Najik brought up Seowoo. It seemed like some form of jealousy.
"...I don't really understand what you're saying."
"I didn't expect much anyway."
"You're asking me to pay attention?"
When he asked if the conversation now was similar to the one he had with Seowoo a few months ago, the boy furrowed his brows and sent him a pitiful glance. The action of taking a deep breath and exhaling seemed exaggerated. It seemed like an action to draw more attention.
"Are you seriously trying to set the mood just to say that?"
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you jealous of Hae-... Seowoo?"
"It's not that, but... Ah."
The boy couldn't continue his words and averted his gaze. It was frustrating and unpleasant. When he pressed him, Najik clenched his teeth and dragged his fingers across the ground.
Scrrratch.
Even though there wasn't a flaw on the floor, four invisible lines were drawn. Sighing after fooling around for a while, the boy lifted his head. Unlike before, his eyes, which had been troubled, now looked calm.
"Okay, I get it. You've spent a day or two with him. You've sold me out more than once."
The mocking criticism came in bits and pieces, reaching his ears syllable by syllable. It was a word salad, void of any nutritional value. Sihyun's forehead wrinkled as he received nothing in return for his wait.
"So, what do you want to say?"
"I wish you'd be a bit more observant."
"I'm usually pretty observant."
"At least it doesn't seem like it's in the direction I'm hoping for."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
While Najik seemed somewhat relieved compared to before, Sihyun's frustration continued to pile up. It wasn't like he was asking for much. What was the point of all this? The boy, who glanced at Sihyun for a moment, shook his head.
"As long as you don't say it directly, I'll never know for the rest of my life."
"...Who am I talking to?"
There was no end to the unease. Failing to hear the desired response, Sihyun scowled. Najik chuckled softly, examining Sihyun's expression with dissatisfaction protruding from his cheeks.
"It seems like you know why Seowoo acted like that."
"What else?"
"There's something like that."
"What are you two sharing except for me?"
"If I had to say, you're the center."
"Ah, but why don't I know about it?"
Annoyed by Najik's constant agitation, he answered irritably, prompting him to suggest they just train. His mannerism indicated the matter was closed. Sihyun watched Najik's back as he walked away with his staff. Even though he usually found him irritating, today was particularly unlucky.
He's asking me to be more considerate. If someone saw this, they might think I'm treating him like he's invisible. I've always been considerate, so what more does he want from me?
Surely Najik wasn't hoping for animosity or feelings beyond friendship from him. Then there was only one thing left. Ending his contemplation, Sihyun hurled the staff he had been holding towards Najik.
Thud.
With the sound of impact, the staff struck Najik's back and fell to the ground. The boy, clutching his head and muttering curses, turned around fiercely towards Sihyun. His eyebrows twitched with apparent anger.
"Are you crazy?"
With a raised shoulder, Sihyun shrugged nonchalantly in response to Najik's angry shout. Then, looking at Najik who was now glaring at him, he spoke.
"I consider you a friend."
"..."
"So, stop messing around. I already think of us as close enough."
It seemed like Hamin wasn't entirely convinced of his friendship with me. So, naturally, he'd show signs of jealousy, like unnecessarily mentioning Yuseowoo or getting irritated. I hadn't been straightforward about my embarrassment, but seeing Hamin now, I thought it might be better to express it at least once. With a deep breath, I spoke.
His response was unexpected, prompting me to question what I should have done instead. Rather than feeling pleased, I found myself increasingly puzzled by the boy who seemed to be wrinkling his impression further.
"...That wasn't what I meant by telling you to be considerate."
"...Alright."
"Just don't do anything and come over. Aren't you going to practice?"
Hamin's response, delivered in a somewhat more subdued tone than usual, accompanied by tossing the staff he had dropped to the ground, caught my attention. As I watched him turn away, I couldn't help but notice a giant X-shaped scar on his back.
What did I do wrong?
It felt like facing an unsolvable math problem. If only Haewoon were here to tell me what I had messed up or what Hamin wanted to say. But unfortunately, Haewoon wasn't here now.
When Hamin criticized me with a sarcastic expression similar to his, I felt unfairly accused. Throughout my part-time job, I had always received compliments from the bosses for being quick-witted, so it felt unjust as Kang Sihyun.
"I'm usually pretty perceptive, though."
"Well, it seems like there are no perceptive people left in the world."
"...."
"Keep thinking about it. I have to go tease Ihaemin."
With a wicked grin, Daun left. I looked at the empty space in front of me in dismay and swallowed a sigh. Haewoon and Daun hadn't given me proper answers, so it didn't seem likely that they would be honest with me as Kang Sihyun.
Since Geonu and Haru were excluded from the targets from the beginning, I would have to figure it out myself in the end, but I couldn't even find a clue.
On the third day, unable to find an answer, Sihyun, who had been wandering around with a tired face, concentrated on the end-of-month evaluation after hearing Hamin's nagging about paying attention to training.
Unlike when he was preoccupied with thoughts, when he focused only on the evaluation, preparations were swiftly made. Sihyun felt a sense of satisfaction as he felt the precise synchronization with Hamin, whom he had last synchronized with for training. There was a sense of accomplishment in matching Hamin's various bursts of enthusiasm while training.
"Now you're worth watching."
Hamin, who had made a Neungma out of the training irregular, said as he wiped the blood off his chin. Sihyun wondered what level of proficiency he would need to hear that he was truly impressive. As he pondered whether he should call for Ruth, he noticed Hamin looking at his phone screen belatedly and quickly covered the screen with his hand.
"Why are you covering it?"
"You look like you don't want me to see it."
"What?"
Abruptly pushed aside by the abrupt response, Sihyun covered his head with his hands when he realized that Hamin was looking at his phone screen.
"Why are you covering it?"
"You're looking at it so intently, aren't you?"
"It's nothing."
With a blunt retort, Hamin leaned his head against Sihyun's and reached out for the phone. Given the behavior of Hamin, who had been increasingly stubborn and mischievous since the day he had nailed me as a friend, his current fixation on the phone was no exception.
Feeling annoyed at Hamin's attempt to grab his phone, Sihyun slapped Hamin's hand lightly. Hamin, whose back of the hand turned red and made an impression, wrapped his hand around mine and looked at me as if to complain.
"It hurts."
"That's because I hit you. Why are you suddenly like this, seriously. Are you going through puberty or something?"
Just by looking at his actions, he seemed like an ordinary teenage boy going through puberty. When I seriously considered his words, I felt like a fool, and when I asked him, he muttered that there was nothing else he could say, picked up his sword, and left the training room. His walking form seemed shaken once again.
Even if he went out there, he would only see the same room, so it seemed like a meaningless action.
"Why is he like that…."
Although there had been signs of puberty since last month, it had worsened considerably over the past few days. Sihyun sighed as he stared at the door Hamin had left through with an expression of incomprehension.
With the monthly evaluation coming up tomorrow, Sihyun was worried because of Hamin's condition.
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