Tap-tap, as he tapped on his back, the strength of the embrace became stronger. The hand that clung to my shoulder made him keenly aware of the difference in stature between him and me. Sihyun subtly grabbed Haru's clothes. He wanted to hold onto his shoulders, but since his hand couldn't reach up, grabbing the hem of his clothes was the best option.
"Hyung."
"...Do you have to get an Awakening Mark?"
"What?"
"...I thought you couldn't get up."
"......"
"If you were gone... what would I do?"
His voice trembled. Although there had been frequent incidents of me collapsing or disappearing lately, Haru looked more anxious than ever before. In his voice, full of anxiety, he called out to him once again, and only then did Haru separate from me. His eyes, which met mine, were moist.
Of all times, Haeun, who had unfortunately witnessed Haru crying because of me, blamed me for making Haru cry. As if echoing similar thoughts, Sihyun couldn't find words to refute. Haru, who seemed to be thinking about similar things, couldn't find words to refute. I had only seen Haru cry twice, and both times it was because of me. Moreover, the interval between those crying episodes was less than a week. The guilt of making him cry consecutively weighed heavily on me.
"......"
He shrugged his shoulders once, wiping away tears with the back of his hand. Sihyun, feeling the weight of the guilt, thought to himself. If I ever faint again, let me know in advance. Although it's impossible to predict when someone will faint, at least say something beforehand. Having the crying kid in front of me made me feel like I had become the worst person in the world. Even the person with the most angelic appearance shook with tears in his fingertips, and it seemed like even the devil would raise a white flag and apologize.
"I'm sorry."
When I apologized, Haru turned his head. With a reddened eye area, his conscience seemed to be pricked. I didn't know how to console him. Whether I should apologize for making him feel anxious or promise not to do it again... The latter seemed unlikely, so I was contemplating the former when he suddenly grabbed my hand. It was uncommon for him to initiate physical contact, and he even entwined our fingers. While I was quietly contemplating, Haru, who was without a pillow nearby, looked regretful and sent a meaningful glance to Hamin. A while later, Haru opened his mouth when Hamin stopped pretending to vomit.
"... If you don't get the next Awakening Mark, is it okay?"
"Um."
"I heard it hurts when you get an Awakening Mark. So, um..."
Yes?
Haru, who had grabbed my hand, brought it close to his face and said that. Looking at him, who was patting his cheek like Pia, I looked at Haru. It was a moment when I realized how good my child's face looked.
Did he learn this from Gunwoo?
As I looked at him, trying to convince him with my face, the strength in the hand holding mine increased. Eventually, the gaze returned to Haru. It was up to the third time that Kang Sihyun would do anything to help. So, as much as possible, I didn't want to do it for the fourth time, but there was a possibility in the world that I might.
"I'm thinking of not doing it for now, but I can't guarantee your safety in dangerous situations...."
"I'll protect you."
"......"
"If you're in danger, I'll protect you..."
Haru held my hand tightly. As if remembering something, his red eyes sank to the ground, tears welling up. The murmuring words reached Sihyun's ears, carrying a sense of urgency. Sihyun, who had been giving up his hand entirely, sighed.
I really can't stand this.
"I won't do it."
"Really?"
"Yes, have I ever lied to you, hyung?"
In the end, I raised the white flag. Thinking that I couldn't win this, I spoke, and there was no response from Haru. Sihyun showed a hint of movement in his eyes.
Did it work?
Having spent such a chaotic daily life, I couldn't even be sure of my own actions. Trying to recall if I had deceived him, Sihyun, who was holding my hand, suddenly opened his mouth slowly.
"I'm sorry."
When he apologized sincerely, Haru turned his head. Feeling guilty, Sihyun looked for a way to console him. When he offered both hands as if to say, 'If you have a sin, take it,' Haru hesitated for a moment and then held out his hand. Since I could at least relieve him this way, I quietly complied, and after a while, Haru opened his mouth when Hamin stopped pretending to vomit.
"... If you don't keep your promise..."
"If I break it, I'll grant you one wish."
"Anything?"
"Yes, anything."
I wondered how much my innocent and naive child could wish for. Even if he wished for something, it seemed like it would be something like patting him twenty times. Thinking of this, I looked at Gunwoo, who was humming lightly. The strength in the hand holding mine increased. In the end, his gaze returned to Haru. Sihyun rolled his eyes around when Haru demanded an answer. The moment Haru was surprised, he let go of my hand. Startled, Haru let out a cry, and Hamin, who had Haewoon, said he would hug him.
"If it's so enviable, should I hug you?"
"Oh, forget it!"
Haru, who had picked a fight for no reason, shouted when Hamin caught him. Looking at Haru, who was being held by Haewoon, Sihyun looked at me. If Haewoon had Haewoon with Haeun, I had Haru sticking to me. When he saw this, Seowoo, who had been quietly watching, laughed lightly.
"It looks like you two have a very affectionate relationship."
"In fact, we're hidden brothers."
"...!"
"Joking, so let's shake hands again, hyung."
Haru was momentarily surprised and let go of my hand. Sihyun, who looked like he was going to pick Gunwoo, ended up picking Haru instead. Haru spoke, and then Sihyun, who had been grabbing Haru's hand, opened his mouth slowly.
"If you don't keep your promise..."
"If you don't keep your promise, hyung, you'll have to do something for me."
"Anything."
Seohoo whispered in his ear, and Sihyun nodded with a smile.
"Then let's go film a drama."
With a nonchalant remark, Seowoo let out a small sigh. His platinum eyes glanced down at the hand extended towards him and curved into a round shape.
"Is this it?"
"Yeah."
"Second one."
Seowoo, who spoke with a playful tone, declined the handshake, saying he would do it separately later. Dealing with him equally was difficult. Sihyun, lowering his head as if it would be easier to befriend a stray cat than Seowoo, headed towards his training room from the health office.
"Where are you going?"
"To the training room."
"Not bringing lunch?"
"You never brought lunch either while I took care of you."
"I think I need to gain some weight."
Are you a witch who fattens people up to devour them? Sihyun sent a skeptical glance at Seowoo, who casually spoke, and in response, Seowoo, with a mischievous smile, took something out of his pocket. It turned out to be cookies. When asked if he was giving it to him, Sihyun, with a suspicious look, reluctantly accepted since he was indeed hungry.
"You eat like a squirrel."
"Stop before you spit it out."
"You're too sensitive."
Seowoo's voice was playful. He thought he would be the most difficult to deal with, but he looked the most casual. As Sihyun was wondering if he hadn't heard the news of his collapse, Seowoo, walking beside him, asked if Yoo seowoo had something to say. Sihyun swallowed the words asking if he had nothing to say, keeping a poker face. It was because he didn't want to dig his own grave by bringing up unnecessary topics.
If you don't want to hear nagging, then it was indeed good. Sihyun thought so, trying to move on, but an uncomfortable feeling lingered, like a thorn stuck in his throat. Sihyun, who casually turned his shoulder, stopped in front of the training room.
"Do we have to do it today?"
"Yeah."
After everyone arrived, the hesitant Yoo seowoo nodded affirmatively when Sihyun made a gesture. Come to think of it, it was the first time so many people came to his training room. He usually roamed around other people's training rooms like a wanderer, but now it felt like a new experience.
"Are you okay?"
"If you collapse again, it's confinement. Think about it and do it comfortably."
That was a threat disguised as encouragement. If he had followed his gut feeling and stayed away, the uncomfortable feeling wouldn't have continued. Sihyun, who sent a wary look amidst the concerned gazes, extended his hand. Gradually, small water droplets formed on Seowoo's hand. Observing the beautiful sight, Haewoon expressed admiration.
"The water color is exactly the same as Sihyun's eye color!"
Originally transparent, for some reason, the water had a light blue tint. Sihyun, looking at Seowoo's hand, wondered if the color changed depending on the ability user like the aura of a buff. So far, there was nothing special.
While taking a slow breath, those behind him startled as they watched. Sihyun, who focused on using his ability, glanced at those around him. There was no mental unease or anything. If anything, he should not even be able to recall when he was captured by a titan. It was terrifying and suffocating. However, this trauma was different. It was just a physiological response.
Like a person who almost drowned in water but was fine on regular days and got jittery when facing water again. He was a bit more severe, but such phobias had to gradually become familiar.
In Seowoo's concerned gaze, Sihyun extended his hand. After a while, neatly coalesced small water droplets appeared on Sihyun's hand. When it became large enough to occupy one-fourth of the training room, Sihyun, feeling uncomfortable, floated the large water droplet in the air.
Looking at the squirming mass, sweat formed on his hands. Sihyun, who had an impassive expression, shook his hand as it was.
When the water droplet burst, a blue light sparkled in the air. Contrary to his expectations of disappearing with a swish, the damn ability was outrageously flashy.
"Wow, Sihyun's eyes are sparkling!"
"Speak properly."
Seowoo teased with a mischievous smile, and when Sihyun asked if he was okay, Seowoo laughed playfully. Sihyun nodded when asked if it was okay until a size like just now.
"Is everything okay with your body?"
"Yeah."
"Good, then you can do it!"
"...Do what?"
Sihyun's eyes widened. He couldn't understand why the chess tournament, which should have become obsolete along with the cancellation of the field trip, was reappearing. Looking at him in bewilderment, Seowoo raised his hand to his waist.
"I prepared diligently, so since it got canceled, I arranged a separate recreation from 8 p.m. on Friday!"
Haewoon was more sincere than anyone else in the chess tournament. Although he spoke with a happy expression, Sihyun didn't share the sentiment. Sihyun, who saw Haewoon saying that he was fortunate to be able to put him on the participation list, turned pale.
"I thought I'd go alone, but I'm glad I didn't."
Seowoo, who smiled slyly, was stopped by Seowoo. Feeling his fingertips tremble, Sihyun closed and opened his eyes. Whether the trembling was due to trauma or Haewoon's words, he didn't know.
He should have just said it hurt like he was going to die.
He shouldn't have even gotten out of bed.
Now, saying those words would lack persuasiveness. Sihyun sighed in regret, leaving one day until Friday.
Sihyun despaired, and Haewoon jumped around happily. Joy and sorrow intersected in the training room.
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