Sihyun's given two days seemed to fly by absurdly fast. While he had mastered the choreography during that time, his heart wasn't quite prepared, leaving him with a hesitant expression. It was time to practice the actual dance moves from the training, which meant entering the training room of the person he was paired with. Sihyun looked at Seowoo's training room with cloudy eyes.
Let's just think of it as a block of wood.
Muttering to himself as if hypnotizing, Sihyun reached for the door handle. Click. With a solid feeling, the door swung open.
"You here?"
Stepping in felt daunting with that voice. Sihyun closed the door with a thud as he faced the boy in front of him. Seeing him brought thoughts of the dance they were supposed to do together. His hesitance swelled within him.
"...Let's get this over with quickly."
"I'll give it my best shot."
Seowoo chuckled at Sihyun's words. He casually reached out his hand for a hold.
Shall We Dance?
Somewhere, a voice seemed to provide background music. Ignoring his hand, Sihyun walked over to a bench. Setting his phone down and glancing at Seowoo, he saw the guy was incredibly quick-witted, nodding with a smile.
Darn it.
Sighing, Sihyun pressed the play button on his phone. As the familiar song filled the room, he cleared his mind of all thoughts.
***
"You're... a bit much."
After five rounds of practice, Sihyun, taking a break on the bench, spoke up. Seowoo, casually sipping on water he had brought, had a relaxed expression.
"What's 'a bit much'?"
"Physical contact. Even if it's a couple's dance, tone it down a bit."
It's pretty obvious.
He swallowed the words he almost spat out. Thinking Seowoo understood, he looked up to see him inching closer, smirking.
"I've reduced it since you seemed uncomfortable. Still too much?"
"You're talking about the times."
Although they had agreed beforehand to avoid touching each other as much as possible, every unavoidable move still felt more daring than necessary. It felt a bit uncomfortable.
"So, uncomfortable?"
"Me?"
"Or the physical contact?"
Are you asking me to choose?
Sihyun narrowed his gaze.
Downplaying their previous conversation as a joke made the discomfort lessen, but it wasn't quite as it was before 'that conversation.'
Not wanting to show he was bothered, Sihyun hesitantly replied with 'the latter.' Seowoo hummed and extended his hand. Surprised, Sihyun instinctively moved his head back. Seowoo's hand halted. Just when Sihyun started wondering why...
"...Are you jealous, perhaps?"
"..."
"Am I being too close with Haru-hyung? Is that bothering you?"
He wondered if he'd be jealous at his age. Yet, with a slight curiosity, he spoke up. Seeing his surprised expression at the mention, Seowoo suddenly burst into laughter. His loud laughter filled the room. Sihyun had never seen him laugh this heartily before.
Did I do something to make him genuinely lose it?
Sihyun casually fiddled with the water bottle nearby.
He used to laugh meaningfully before, but lately, he'd been speaking in riddles, expressing emotions vaguely, and going silent, like a capricious madman who spilled words without sense.
Sihyun waited for his laughter to subside, conserving his words. Eventually, Seowoo stopped laughing and interlaced his fingers. Sihyun's gaze shifted to Seowoo's hands. Memories of them holding fingers while dancing came to mind. What he heard next surprised him.
"Well, after hearing you, it does seem like that."
"What?"
"That's exactly how I feel right now."
Really?
The words he threw out turned out to be accurate. Shocked by the confession of genuine jealousy, Sihyun stared at Seowoo, who slowly continued.
"It feels like having a pet you've raised with care but only shows affection to others."
"..."
What did I just hear?
Did I just receive treatment worse than that of a human being?
From jealousy to suddenly mentioning pets. Without an explanation for the cryptic words, Sihyun looked at him expectantly. When Seowoo didn't speak, Sihyun, frustrated, voiced his thoughts.
"Are you saying I'm the pet?"
"Who else would it be?"
"This is insane."
It was the first time his inner thoughts spilled out. Acting like someone who ate something bad for days, he seemed genuinely off-kilter. He wondered when he started considering himself Seowoo's pet, which made him laugh bitterly.
"Don't your eyes see a person as a person?"
Dumbfounded by the nonsensical statement, Seowoo stared at Sihyun. His platinum-colored irises scrutinized him. Seeing no intention to answer, Seowoo, who had been leaning against the iron scarecrow, straightened up.
"Then what am I to you?"
"It's not like you're interested in me enough to call us friends, Sihyun. I'm the one paying attention to you, taking care of you, giving you affection, and yet it feels like you only like it when I occasionally pay attention to you. What else can this relationship be if it's not what I've described?"
To the continuing question, Sihyun remained silent. As he tightly sealed his lips, Seowoo, with a faint smile as if knowing that would happen, approached me. Sihyun's gaze slowly lifted as she drew closer.
"Is it so strange for me to feel jealous?"
Ah.
Sihyun muttered inwardly.
"However I act, you treat me just about as someone barely worth considering. How could I not feel jealous? Unlike your esteemed partner whom you hold in high regard, you draw lines and behave differently when dealing with me or 'us,' as if it shouldn't get any closer than this."
No way?
A realization struck.
If someone were to ask if I ever considered Seowoo a friend, I could confidently say that I never did. Beyond a normal relationship, yet less than friendship. Surrendering to it as it was inevitable, like someone in the same class intertwined in a difficult and complicated relationship.
He knew best how he thought of Seowoo. His platinum-colored eyes locked onto mine. He didn't even attempt the usual smile he often wore.
With no one answering, silence lingered. Sihyun was lost in thought. It was natural for him to look after her instead of himself. After all, it wasn't him but Haru who was considered hers.
He simply asked, "Have you ever treated me as a friend or something more, even once?"
There wasn't. Sihyun, swallowing his answer in front of the keen inquiry, lowered his gaze. Then, thinking he might owe something in return for what he had received, he raised his head. He couldn't voice his dissatisfaction with the treatment that was excessive.
As his gaze lifted, the platinum hair perfectly matching the eye color glistened under the light in an almost surreal way.
That's why it was hard not to draw a line.
No matter that he lived in this world, it was still an "Inso." Despite the deviation caused by his possession, the main storyline remained intact. The narrative would progress, with predetermined endings and emotional arcs. Even the predetermined events were undoubtedly present.
And Sihyun. He didn't want to be entangled in that place.
Even if the eye of the storm was calm, wouldn't the chaotic surroundings be torn apart and left in disarray?
So, he simply dealt with it reasonably.
Not getting closer, not becoming more intimate.
For some reason, it felt like he was just right in responding to him, giving and pushing away reasonably. Setting boundaries, anticipating an eventual separation.
His thoughts and actions were evidently clear to him. As Sihyun avoided answering, Seowoo, who had stepped closer, stopped right in front of him. He started to smile again, but Sihyun couldn't feel the warmth in that smile as he did before.
"Maybe I'm not the one treating you; perhaps you're treating me like a pet. When I look at you, you look back at me, but I'm hopelessly waiting for you. Just to get some attention."
"...I've never treated you like that."
He swore he hadn't. He only treated him as someone a little crazy and just being around. He couldn't outright say it, swallowing his words as Seowoo's mouth curled up.
"I see, but that's how it feels to me."
His treatment indeed seemed rather lacking.
As Sihyun closed his mouth, his eyes rolled in their sockets. Sensing the atmosphere getting a bit uncomfortable, he naturally recalled the 'conversation of that day.' A strange sense of déjà vu from that day seemed to linger.
"So, what do you want me to do?"
"If I speak, will you listen to everything?"
"Moderate it."
A step given, and it was taken for granted and stepped on. While he frowned, Seowoo, with a faint smile, reached out to Sihyun. Instead of avoiding the touch, he stared at her intensely. Swiftly, as if not even touching, he habitually tucked a strand of Sihyun's hair behind his ear, his eyes narrowing.
"Do I seem like I want what you think?"
"Interest."
Ever since jealousy arose, the answer was evident, yet Seowoo fell silent. Sihyun tilted his head slightly, questioning.
"No?"
"...If you think about it, that might be true."
He slowly affirmed. Sihyun looked at Seowoo. In essence, what he wanted to say was that.
Not as much as I give you, but show me some interest.
Drawing his conclusion, Sihyun sighed quietly. Understanding that he ignored the living and breathing person beside him, feeling a little hurt was justifiable. However, the rest was incomprehensible. Ultimately, as last time's conversation continued, Sihyun narrowed his eyes, and just then, Seowoo's palm touched Sihyun's cheek.
"Why again?"
"Just because."
"...?"
With a puzzled frown on his forehead, Sihyun gazed at Seowoo, who smiled strangely.
"If it were me, I would have endlessly waited. But now that I see, it seems that doesn't work with you."
I'll try taking the lead from now on.
Casually, like singing a song, she finished speaking. With her hand lowered in the meantime, Seowoo turned towards the door without looking back at Sihyun and smiled.
"It's the first time I'm making an educated guess on this, and our compatibility seems decent. Tomorrow, we can practice together from the first period, looking forward to it."
As the bell chimed, the atmosphere changed. Just as if the previous conversation had been forgotten. But this time, it didn't seem like a joke. Sensing that, Sihyun, looking at Seowoo who suggested going to eat, felt confused.
So, what should I do from now on?
As he pondered, Seowoo in front of the door smiled mysteriously. For some reason, to Sihyun's eyes, the door she opened seemed to lead to a rough road, the fastest path to trouble.
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