The quivering pupils betrayed confusion. There seemed to be nothing left to surprise him, even if he had three eyes. Whatever happened, he'd thought he'd be nonchalant about it, whether it involved three eyes or a massive scar. But this was different from having three eyes or a prominent scar—it was about something moving within.
It was a matter of a groove.
As if realizing where Sihyun's gaze was directed, Haru, seemingly catching on, lowered his head and chewed on his lips. Seeing him like that, a belated regret washed over Sihyun.
If I'd known, I would have just left it alone.
I thought I could handle it, that it wouldn't be a big deal by my standards, but I was wrong. The azure gaze held a significant mark.
Awakening marks disappear once imprinted. Yet, there was still a mark on Haru's forehead.
Did he not imprint?
His lowered gaze landed on the pairing device in his hand. The holographic screen that he'd seen countless times automatically appeared. It wasn't that he hadn't imprinted.
If that's the case...
Surely not.
"...You're a Dual?"
"......"
He had anticipated it, yet Haru remained silent. Sometimes, silence could signify affirmation, so Sihyun exhaled in frustration.
They said it was rare.
Even an All-Rounder was considered a miracle.
Bits and pieces of gathered information consistently pointed to the same thing. An uncommon All-Rounder. Even rarer than that, a Dual referred to as a miracle. A being that might appear once every three years, a presence so miraculous that even witnessing it was a marvel.
This generation trampled upon the previously unbroken rule of multiple generations.
Statistically, it was the emergence of nine years' worth of talent in one go. A mix of incredulity and astonishment followed. Simultaneously, questions arose.
"How could he have hidden it?"
At the moment of his own imprint, Sihyun had inadvertently revealed Haru's status as a Dual. If only it were just the Dual—Haru ended up exposed all the way to Quadruple, simply because he'd been caught. But how had Haru managed to keep it a secret?
It seemed that none of the teachers knew Haru was a Dual. If Haru had been a Dual from the start, there was no way the new and current students would have been this quiet.
Even if Haru appeared introverted, that wouldn't change just because he was a Dual. Many opportunistic individuals with a penchant for benefitting would have hoped and requested to be Haru's partner. Despite that, Haru had been alone during the partner selection. Without anyone's attention. The fact it conveyed was straightforward.
"Do others not know?"
"...Yeah."
"Hyung, then—"
"Kang Sihyun."
It was the second time. Haru interrupted Sihyun's speech and called his name with a serious tone. It carried a sense of concern, an emotional undertone. Sihyun, who was about to spit out words that he, for the first time, had been holding back, swallowed them upon hearing Haru's voice.
"...Could you pretend not to know?"
Please... the voice sounded weak and desperate. Bowing his head deeply and avoiding eye contact felt like confessing to a crime. Sihyun silently withdrew his hand. As his hand, which had been about to touch Haru's head, dropped down, the revealed features were darkened by the black hair.
"...Regardless of your class, it doesn't matter to me..."
Haru's voice, heard somewhere before, echoed in Sihyun's ears. Without needing to contemplate, with the sight of the mark and the weighed Haru, Sihyun tilted decisively toward one side without needing to deliberate.
"...I'm sorry."
"......"
"I should have been more considerate. I didn't show enough concern. You can be angry."
This warranted anger.
As Sihyun cautiously extended his hand, requesting to heal the hurt, Haru, despite the slow movement, hunched his shoulders, pulling away from the touch.
Light emanated from Sihyun's fingertips. Contrary to his worry, the scar on Haru's eye was smaller than anticipated, and the healing was swift.
Beep-beep, beep-beep.
An alarming sound from the pairing device interrupted before the tension could dissipate. Only the sharp alarm shattered the awkward atmosphere and broke the silence. There was still no conversation.
Swiftly, Haru turned his head away without uttering a word. A sinking feeling settled in Sihyun's chest.
The warning sound emanating from the pairing device felt like it was warning something entirely different to Sihyun.
Deciding that Haru needed time alone without a response, Sihyun descended from the second floor and settled into his own bed. Once under the covers, his head spun.
It wasn't satisfactory.
Pushing, irritating.
It was all behavior unlike his usual self.
Honestly, he had been angry at the fact that Haru had gotten hurt. Irritation, too. Sacrifice and pain for others were never pleasant feelings.
But was that all?
Were the emotions I expressed to Haru the only ones I felt?
Sihyun raised his head. Due to adjusting the pillow, a rustling sound echoed from his head.
Strictly speaking, other emotions had seeped in. A multitude of more intricate and detailed emotions had been displayed to the vulnerable subject.
So, all his actions had merely been a justified outlet, using Haru getting hurt as an excuse.
Feeling his stomach churn, Sihyun eventually pulled the covers all the way up to his head. The softness of the blanket enveloped his entire body and blocked his sight, bringing about a moment of tranquility. Those few seconds of peace allowed Sihyun the time to reflect on his emotions and actions.
If it had been someone other than Haru, the result would have been similar.
If only Donghyuk and he had confronted each other a little longer, all the emotions he had built up would have been expressed to Donghyuk, and if Seowoo had been hurt in that process, all those feelings would have been directed at her. That's how fragile he felt. Without someone to receive his emotions, he felt like he would crumble alone.
Disliking this, he would lash out at others as a form of self-defense. That particular aspect of himself seemed oddly reminiscent of someone else.
Sihyun, scratching his neck, slowly closed his eyes.
He thought he was okay, but he felt overwhelmed.
Everything he had tried to overlook, every situation he had attempted to accept. It was all about pretending to be okay while still feeling overwhelmed.
Donghyuk's attitude was like a trigger that made his already sensitive self overflow. Unable to pinpoint who pulled the trigger and where the root of it all lay, Sihyun found himself caught in a loop, holding his breath.
He recalled Haru's surprised gaze, the seemingly dismissive glances. Trying to imagine the kind of eyes he had when probing Haru's hidden vulnerabilities, Sihyun buried himself under the blanket.
It's a vicious cycle.
Perhaps the careless and contradictory human might not be Donghyuk but himself.
"What's with the gloomy atmosphere?"
After a prolonged silence, Haewoon burst into the room, looking at Sihyun and Haru lying on their respective beds. There had never been a moment when Haewoon seemed more like a savior than now. Sihyun lowered the blanket that covered him and looked at Haewoon.
"Don't come up."
"Aww."
Warning Haewoon not to climb onto Haru's bed too easily, Sihyun halted his action. Feeling like retracting his statement about Haewoon being a savior, he sensed the gaze directed at him. Turning his head, he saw Hamin.
"Why aren't you two glued together for once?"
"What do you mean?"
"You and Ban Haru."
Had the two of them fought?
Sihyun narrowed his eyes at Hamin, who was quick to notice this side of the situation. He was perceptive but lacked consideration. Though Haewoon seemed to have caught on, he remained silent. Hamin, who felt compelled to speak, had something on his mind.
"Can you keep it down?"
"Why is everything always about that?"
Taken aback by the reproach to stop speaking after a single word, Hamin complained in disbelief. Sihyun's gesture toward Hamin caught Haewoon's attention.
"Go play with him."
"Oh yeah!"
"Huh?"
As Hamin grumbled about me and was about to leave, resisting his push, Haewoon ended up being dragged and almost fell onto the sofa. Kang Sihyun! He called my name in an annoying manner, and all Sihyun did was cover himself with the blanket.
That darn guy, Hamin grumbled, and the atmosphere shifted.
As the suffocating silence was broken, it seemed a bit relieving, but there was still not a sound of someone tossing and turning from underneath.
If someone openly detested something, there was surely a reason for it. Sihyun closed his eyes at the mistake he made due to a momentary impulse and unregulated emotions. He worried about Haru, feeling a gnawing emptiness in his stomach.
Not being able to even have dinner and causing only hurt, it bothered him a lot.
"Sihyun, wanna play board games?"
"I'm good."
"What about Haru-hyung?"
"......"
"Just play among yourselves."
Seeing Haewoon, who suggested playing board games without grasping the situation, whether he was quick-witted but thoughtless or just living life his own way, Sihyun answered on behalf of Haru, knowing full well he wouldn't come down anyway.
As if proving Sihyun's prediction, Haru remained silent. As the silence lingered, Haewoon, shrugging his shoulders, slyly nudged Hamin, who was about to fold the board, to play among themselves. Sihyun, pretending not to notice, turned to face away, contemplating.
A foreboding feeling suddenly arose.
Haru was the first relationship I built from scratch in this unfamiliar place. A relationship forged by my own will. Such a relationship, which was important and precious to me, felt uncomfortably stuck. Like a lock without a key that wouldn't budge. The unease stemming from negative thoughts crept up and gripped Sihyun.
A sense of anxiety enveloped his entire body, akin to a giant snake coiling around its prey.
A faint buzzing, almost like a premonition, echoed in the unsettling atmosphere as the night unfolded.
It was a long night.
Throughout this long night, Haru didn't utter a word until Sihyun fell asleep.
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