After parting ways with Haru, Sihyun headed home. He still felt awkward greeting someone else's parents during the customary bow before washing up and heading to Daun's house. It was unnecessary to say he was searching for it since it was right next door.
Even if the first button was wrongly fastened, it took quite a while to notice. Sihyun had sensed the need to correct that mistake since meeting Seowoo while avoiding Daun, realizing his entanglement with the other Supreme Kings made fixing the initial misstep imperative. It seemed like everything might unravel from that poorly fastened first button.
When contemplating living out the rest of this unfamiliar life under Daun's pressure or simply confronting it head-on, the latter option seemed obvious. Continuing to flee and be watchful was exhaustingly tiresome.
However, that didn't mean he'd start spinning tales about being Kang Sihyun from a neighboring country who suddenly found himself in this body belonging to Yoo Sihyun. Simply apologizing and seeking forgiveness was all he intended.
The problem was that those two words might cost him dearly.
Nervous and parched, Sihyun cautiously tapped on Daun's front door. Instead of the expected gentle sound, a rough thud reverberated from the once-anticipated door.
Maybe he should've rung the bell.
His nerves heightened, even the sound of the door irked him. Concerned about potential misunderstandings with Daun, he pondered until a solid thud accompanied the tightly shut door finally opening.
"...."
"What?"
Though he considered greeting the awkwardness, Sihyun remained silent, prompting Daun, who had just opened the door while holding the handle, to furrow his brow. He didn't seem as aggressively hostile as before. However, a noticeable discomfort and resentment lingered in his demeanor.
Seeing Daun's emotions, Sihyun, now seventeen, pursed his lips, reading the unspoken feelings from Daun's expression.
"If you have nothing to say—"
"Sorry."
"...."
"I'm sorry."
There was something he had to apologize for. It wasn't feasible to sever all human connections associated with inheriting someone else's body. Despite knowing this, Sihyun had busied himself with evasion for the past month, expending emotions along the way, especially towards Daun, his parents, and childhood friend.
Considering what was apparent with a bit of thought, Sihyun, who selfishly ignored it, apologized belatedly, making Daun's eyebrows twitch. Apparently, people in the know could communicate through eyebrows.
"... It's fine."
"...."
This time, it was Sihyun who was surprised. He had expected at least a shoulder jolt or maybe an escalated confrontation.
Daun surprisingly let it slide without further ado. The weight of the book Sihyun had brought in case of a confrontation felt noticeably lighter, fearing it might be used as a weapon.
"...Aren't you going to hit me?"
"I was going to kill you."
Right, that was it. As Sihyun feigned death with closed eyes, recalling the words of the girl he met at the entrance ceremony.
"I wanted to ask what was wrong. She seemed to have her reasons. She said she had known you for a long time, but if you're not talking, it must be something quite difficult."
If that were the case, waiting for her to speak first might be best. Until she opened up.
As Daun, who usually had a bird-like face, matured into a swan-like demeanor and spoke softly, Sihyun, who was tense, tightened his lips, grasping the doorknob harder.
"...You must have your reasons too."
"...."
Blinking slowly, Sihyun's eyes widened. Daun, who had pondered several times before pursing his lips, sighed and locked eyes with Sihyun. The once irate tone had softened considerably.
"You've changed."
Sihyun stared at Daun, neither flinching nor reacting, just silently gazing at him.
"No, it's not a change. It's more like something's off. Since you didn't come out of your room for a month."
"...."
"Not smiling like before... Something's off. So, tell me what happened, even if it's late."
"Uncle and Auntie are very worried."
For someone used to angry retorts from Sihyun, this gentle version left Daun speechless. Sihyun felt a lump in his throat. He knew who 'Uncle and Auntie' referred to. Simultaneously, he realized that the figure he saw as Daun was probably the real Jeong Daun, not 'Yoo Sihyun.'
What should he answer? His mind went blank at the unexpected question. A punch to end it all might have been better.
Should he speak up, even if it's late? About what?
"I'm not the person you knew. Today marks our first real encounter, so you're seeing me for the first time too. There's no need for us to treat each other with familiarity or expect me to be like Kang Sihyun to you. Let's avoid interfering in each other's lives from now on."
"I'm not your family's son but someone from beyond the pages. Treating me as your son is challenging. I'm sorry. What am I even saying?"
Thankfully, not being treated like a lunatic was a relief.
Sihyun, with a wistful smile, turned away from Daun slowly.
"I'll go."
Those two syllables were all he uttered. Not 'thank you' or 'I'll talk to you later,' just 'I'll go.'
Nothing made sense, and nothing seemed real. Sihyun swallowed every fact he knew as if it were a taboo, heading towards the house. The building in sight didn't feel like his home. The air felt unfamiliar, carrying the scent of paper. He closed his eyes, thinking about Kang Sihyun's parents, who might be worried about him in that spacious house, so different from the cramped, old room he imagined.
It felt suffocating. Undoubtedly, he was the only one unwelcome and misunderstood in this place.
Sihyun, lying on the bed, gazed at the ceiling, once a stranger's soft mattress. Skipping lunch due to lack of appetite, staring at the ceiling, he felt emptiness.
Everything was alien.
He was convinced that no matter how much he explained, people wouldn't understand his feelings. Even a newborn knows the milk in their mouth is theirs. Unlike that, everything Sihyun held felt like someone else's. Not a single touch or breath belonged to him.
A perfect life crafted by a perfect stranger. That's why everything felt unfamiliar and challenging for Sihyun. Breathing in this space even felt like someone else's.
Suddenly, thoughts of fantasy novel protagonists he sometimes read about in books crossed his mind, and he covered his eyes with his arm.
How could everyone act so naturally? How could they accept things so effortlessly and live their lives breathing so casually?
Sihyun was sensitive to change. His reactions to people around him and his heightened senses were different. Even if he didn't hold onto relationships and remained indifferent to various emotions, he wasn't insensitive to senses.
Realizing this fact vividly through his possession, Sihyun continued in the strange atmosphere, surrounded by a heavy silence. He felt the need to survive by assimilating someone else's life.
How could he act like them?
Maybe he wasn't immediately in a life-threatening situation. Thinking so, Sihyun smirked and chewed on his lip, pressing his palms against his eyes.
Since there was no imminent danger of dying, Sihyun felt suffocated and overwhelmed by everything about 'Kang Sihyun'.
Of course, there were moments he lived desperately. Like the protagonists in novels. Moments of desperation, although short-lived, had an undeniable essence.
He lived desperately to avoid Yooseowoo, to escape Daun, to overthrow the Four Heavenly Kings. But in those 'moments,' even if they were desperate, they were fleeting and ultimately insignificant.
He lived desperately because he wanted to live quietly.
Even if the day came when he reverted to 'Yoo Sihyun,' he hoped not to cause harm to 'Kang Sihyun.' He was desperate in his own way.
A bitter taste lingered in his mouth.
As the sense of owning something foreign became clearer, he longed and became greedy for his own, even if it meant craving his own death. Even though his life wasn't particularly happy.
Sihyun, gasping for breath, curled up under the blanket.
Perhaps his original body was already dead. But Sihyun believed, if the chance came, he'd willingly return to his deceased body.
This place, except for the weightless world within a piece of paper, was entirely of his own making.
Tick-tock. The sound of the clock was the only thing breaking the silence in the room. Sihyun exhaled heavily within the almost hypnotic sound, seeking comfort, despite it being an unusually early hour for him. He'd learned to sleep without rest over the past month.
Slowly, closing his eyes, he sought solace, letting consciousness sink leisurely. It was a chosen slumber, an escape from the burdensome reality.
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